Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML
Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, right before sex, with his dick out and the condom in one hand, the guy I was with answered a phone call from his mum. FML
Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom, demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a goddamn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML
Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML
Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML
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Top comments
MiniatureMayhem 0
Tell your mom you were enjoying a really good chocolate cake.
junying 0
Your girlfriend totally did that on purpose. :D
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Comments (121)
what_the_fail 0
Ur getting laid and your life is ******? Id like to see how.
murphythadog 0
you should have three wayed her mom in and gave her some anal. that will show her.
racerapj 10
I didn't laugh till I saw the gender
kaybbyx3 0
good to know your girlfriend has class *rolls eyes*
bigdickprick 0
What kind of sick ******* guy wants to talk to their mom while ******* their girlfriend?
saladgirl123 0
haha
SuperHumanBeats 0
I thought it was bad when I thought you were a guy but then I found out you were a girl...with a dick... FML
ih8douches 0
so either it was a fake or you are a very strange "woman"
ChoclateDimondz 0
LOL YOU ARE SO SCREWED!!! wait you moaned like moaned? not cool
tyrellaraven 0
hahahahahahahaha that is priceless