Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, I had just sat down and taken a dump in a public restroom when I realized there was no toilet paper. I tried to discreetly call for help, but no one heard me. My only option was to text a friend and have them bring me some. The worst part? My friend ended up texting me, "You called for backup?" as I waited in humiliation. FML
Today, I took a dump at work, when I realized there was no toilet paper left. There was another guy in the room, so I asked him for some. He decided he'd rather dump all the rolls of paper into the other toilets, before wishing me luck and walking out while laughing his ass off. FML
Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML
Today, I woke up to use the restroom, because I had to take a shit. There was basically no toilet paper left. I asked my boyfriend if he could go get some. It was 1 a.m. He said he’d go when the stores were open, then told me to just rinse off in the shower. FML
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML
Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML
Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML
Today, the stall I was using didn't have any toilet paper in it. Being the immature idiot I am, I was too embarrassed to ask for someone to grab me some. So I waited 45 minutes for the bathroom to be empty and crept into the next stall, only to find it was also out of toilet paper. FML
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Top comments
your_ma 27
How could you post this without telling us what you picked?!
liv_graham 7
use their towels
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Comments (170)
dovehigh 15
lol, I like how everyone is trying to pick between those three options when there is a better option available. jump in the shower and rinse of your booty, his pipes can have all that nasty stuff back there!
dovehigh 15
I think we're missing the true antagonist in the story, it's not the friends. it is whoever used the last of the last roll and didn't put more in there!
night_fox1233 16
Just make sure you flush the duct tape, sandpaper or saran wrap so they'll have to deal with the toilet when you're done.
shotgun_girl 17
Wrap some saran wrap around the sand paper, duct tape the back, then use the now hardish surface that won't scratch up your exit to wipe. Then shove your success in their faces >:D
iwillreapyou 19
Whenever I'm in the no tp problem I tend to freak out for about 5 to 10 minutes then think to look in the cabinet beneath the sink and boom there's a full package..
Dfma100 10
Some mates they are