Animals: Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I...

By OldHabitsDieHard - 18/09/2013 14:53 - United States - Erie

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 716

You deserved it 18 748

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Same thing different taste

By ilovecharliesheen - 17/03/2015 07:14 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I accidentally ate a cat treat instead of a cinnamon-glazed pecan. I thought it must have been burnt by the way it tasted, so ate a few more before I figured out my mistake and spat them out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 609

You deserved it 14 265

By Anonymous - 04/08/2016 21:25

Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 995

You deserved it 15 564

By upliftmofo - 28/03/2011 05:56 - Belgium

Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 654

You deserved it 5 978

By jsmills92 - 21/12/2012 00:26 - United States - Cranston

Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 414

You deserved it 4 442

By youwouldbeacat - 28/04/2009 02:38 - United States

Today, I was making a nacho and grabbed some refried beans that were in a plastic container out of the fridge and put them on top of the chips. After I’m completely done eating my mom looks in the fridge and asked me if I knew where the cat food was. I just ate a small can of cat food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 744

You deserved it 53 561

Absentmindedly

By Anonymous - 06/09/2022 19:00

Today, I saw some reddish-colored stuff on my finger after wiping my face. I thought it was blood at first, so I smelled it, then licked it, I don't know why the fuck I did that but anyways, I later realized I'd wiped off some of my eyeshadow and frickin ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 1 203

Con Artist Kitty

By Tray - 25/09/2017 20:13

Today, I had just finished making myself an ice cream cone when my cat puked all over the floor. I set my cone on the counter while I cleaned up, and when I finished, my cat was licking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 866

You deserved it 623

By whatdidimarry - 24/09/2015 23:31 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I caught my husband and the cat licking the butter together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 266

You deserved it 2 295

By princeronron - 08/09/2015 02:02 - Switzerland - Prilly

Today, I spilled the bowl of cat food I'd just filled. I picked it all up in front of my cat, but he refused to eat any of it. I had to put the food back into the packet and fill the bowl all over again. My cat is a prince. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 687

You deserved it 6 022

Smelly glasses for life

By Anonymous - 16/09/2022 06:30 - United States

Today, I used my towel on the counter to clean my glasses. Apparently, my foster cat had peed on it during the night. The wet towel hit my mouth. I started out my day with cat pee on my lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 287

PenguinBitch 43

Wednesday 18 September 2013 19:15

Reminds me of that Spongebob episode where he tastes Gary's food.

GetGulley 12

Wednesday 18 September 2013 19:19

The most important meal of the day, serving it up Gary's way!

Comments

HighasaCloud 46

Thursday 19 September 2013 1:47

What harm can it do?

fukre 3

Thursday 19 September 2013 3:34

He he he he.... Bdw, how ws d taste?

HockeyGirlLover 7

Thursday 19 September 2013 3:43

Sponge bob is that you?

blueknight1st 26

Thursday 19 September 2013 4:30

Relax. By law canned cat and dog food has to be fit for human consumption in case of times when food is scarce or personal hardship.

doodlebug33 20

Thursday 19 September 2013 4:34

This is why I'm glad that my cat eats dry food lol

thewife5 19

Thursday 19 September 2013 6:45

Gross... You'll live, but I bet it tastes as nasty as it smells... FYL

Obey_StudBoii 23

Thursday 19 September 2013 8:20

Guess #15 likes the smell of balls to his face

Obey_StudBoii 23

Thursday 19 September 2013 8:22

I cringed when I read this.

longbeck4 28

Thursday 19 September 2013 9:06

heard thus one already.

RKD 23

Thursday 19 September 2013 21:25

Actually read about a Russian defector during the Cold Warwho thought it was meat and had a good meal on it,,,,years later he tried it again,,,,

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Today, while I was showering, someone left a note on the bathroom door that read, "We can all hear you masturbating. Shut the hell up." I don't know what's more embarrassing, that everyone in my house thought I was masturbating or that I was actually singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 053

You deserved it 372

Today, I asked a girl at work out, who'd claimed she was single. Not ten minutes later, our boss fired me. Turns out that girl is actually his side chick he cheats on his wife with, even though she’s 19 and he’s 48. Not illegal, just scummy as hell, and he fired me out of jealousy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 100

The Top

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 776

You deserved it 59 099

Today, my doctor confirmed that the extreme pain I've been experiencing is due to a kidney stone. My friend decided this was the time to tell me that passing a kidney stone is the male equivalent of child birth. Hello even more pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 268

You deserved it 4 532

Today, I was playing basketball, and while trying to jump and shoot, I farted on the face of the person behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 647

You deserved it 639

Today, I was uninvited from every family event henceforth, because I finally had it and told my sister that I can’t stand to be around her horribly misbehaved kids. They have screaming meltdown tantrums, throw and break things, start fights and steal. How am I the bad guy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 164

You deserved it 275

Today, after leaving for the city inspector to make sure everything was up to code, my husband and I remembered that we'd forgotten to take down the rope bondage setup and equipment in the closet. We came home to paperwork on the kitchen counter and the closet door open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 586

You deserved it 1 299

Today, I saw a car on the side on the highway with a popped tire. The driver didn't have a spare, so I nicely gave them mine. One hour later my tire popped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 832

You deserved it 8 060

Same thing different taste

Absentmindedly

Con Artist Kitty

Smelly glasses for life

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