Today, I was fined because my son pushed the alarm button in the elevator. Why? There was a spider in there. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was on the elevator at work. As it descended, a roach started scurrying about around my feet. I freaked out and started screaming, hitting the panic button without thinking. Now I'm facing a hefty fine for using the panic button when there wasn't a "real" emergency. FML
Today, I had to drive 40-odd miles to my grown-ass son's house to kill a large spider on the wall. It had him trapped in his bedroom because his wife had already gone to work. How did I ever raise such a wuss? FML
Today, my son was crying and refusing to sleep in his room because a spider ran along the wall, and it's now hiding somewhere. He’s 19. FML
Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML
Today, my son nearly burned the house down with a lighter and an aerosol. His excuse? He was killing a massive spider carrying an egg sack. My wife hates spiders so she refuses to punish him and gave him £20. But sure, dear old Dad will spend money replacing the wallpaper and curtains, no problem. FML
Today, I got stuck in my building's elevator. I pushed the emergency button, which made a ringing noise. After about half an hour, I heard someone yell, "Stop pushing that button, my kids are sleeping." FML
Today, as I was using my mom's computer, a spider crawled onto the screen. So as per my usual reaction to seeing a spider, I smashed it as fast as I could. I missed the spider, but now I have to buy my mom a new monitor. FML
Today, I drove my car into a fence because a spider was crawling from the mirror. The police laughed their asses off. One of them asked, "What should I write in the report? That she got scared of a spider?" Then he wrote just that. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
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Top comments
postaltubealex 0
maybe you should write a letter to your congressman about the injustice.
_Sophia_ 14
Today, I was minding my own business when this kid tried to hammer me to death. Then ear piercing alarms went off. It's been five hours, I still can't hear. FML
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Comments (93)
Elkasaurus 0
I would of pressed it too.
PeacefulWicked 0
lmao. Me and my friend snuck on the school elevator and rang the shit out of the emergency bell. The crazy ass janitor chased the elevator up the stairs and met us three stories up. lol.
MJs_lover4evr 0
ahahaha
anlhawks 5
I once pushed the alarm instead of pushing 2 and nothing happened to me
SAMHAlN 0
omg ahahaha
scarface23 0
does he have hair on his peaches or what??
Zodaicz 4
Oh noes!!! D:
liverty561 0
I would have hit the alarm to, it's a spider.... they're flippin scary as heckkkkk
Vampierjazz2010 0
That is an emergency to some. how old Is he?
hayliepoche 5
spiders r SCARY!!