Today, I was fined because my son pushed the alarm button in the elevator. Why? There was a spider in there. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on the elevator at work. As it descended, a roach started scurrying about around my feet. I freaked out and started screaming, hitting the panic button without thinking. Now I'm facing a hefty fine for using the panic button when there wasn't a "real" emergency. FML
Today, I had to drive 40-odd miles to my grown-ass son's house to kill a large spider on the wall. It had him trapped in his bedroom because his wife had already gone to work. How did I ever raise such a wuss? FML
Today, my son was crying and refusing to sleep in his room because a spider ran along the wall, and it's now hiding somewhere. He’s 19. FML
Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML
Today, my son nearly burned the house down with a lighter and an aerosol. His excuse? He was killing a massive spider carrying an egg sack. My wife hates spiders so she refuses to punish him and gave him £20. But sure, dear old Dad will spend money replacing the wallpaper and curtains, no problem. FML
Today, I got stuck in my building's elevator. I pushed the emergency button, which made a ringing noise. After about half an hour, I heard someone yell, "Stop pushing that button, my kids are sleeping." FML
Today, as I was using my mom's computer, a spider crawled onto the screen. So as per my usual reaction to seeing a spider, I smashed it as fast as I could. I missed the spider, but now I have to buy my mom a new monitor. FML
Today, I drove my car into a fence because a spider was crawling from the mirror. The police laughed their asses off. One of them asked, "What should I write in the report? That she got scared of a spider?" Then he wrote just that. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
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Top comments
postaltubealex 0
maybe you should write a letter to your congressman about the injustice.
_Sophia_ 14
Today, I was minding my own business when this kid tried to hammer me to death. Then ear piercing alarms went off. It's been five hours, I still can't hear. FML
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Comments (93)
J4cks0n 0
I don't believe this...
wolfvision 0
Slap that spyder brah
Dinlordz 0
your son's one dumbshit-head
vikingunicorn 1
Aw. That's no fun-- poor guy must be young, 'cause last I checked, hitting the alarm stops the elevator... The last thing someone who is afraid of spiders wants to do is create a situation in which s/he is stuck in a small space with one. Nonetheless, FYL. On the bright side, you have an embarassingly adorable story to tell in the future when he's all grown up!
flyingburger 0
Fake! Has anybody ever pushed the alarm button in an elevator? It rings only as long as you push it. The moment you let go, the alarm stops. The alarm only sounds in the shaft too. The alarm button doesn't stop the elevator, the emergency stop switch does, which you can use without the alarm sounding. Besides, in any modern elevator, the stop switch has been removed by law, since people were hitting it and assaulting people stuck in the elevator.
vikingunicorn 1
Er... Who says it was in a modern elevator? Also, in my building, the alarm only turns off when the super intendant turns it off with a key thing... There is a fine when people hit it without a valid reason.
unique_freak 17
bring it up when he brings his first date home
GiRIsMakingCupca 0
spiders are freaky
itspimpz 0
I doubt he was really scared and just wanted to see what the button did
Tigg3r 3
You:0 Son:0 Spider: 1 XD
Lesbier 0
I don't know who would be the one with the phobia. You or your son. However, I think YDI for not teaching your child to not press buttons. Even a young kid can learn that basic rule. Hope he learned this now.
Tigg3r 3
Are you kidding me? When I was little, I loved pushing buttons! Click click click, always so much fun. I helped my mom at the ATM and in the elevator I always try to be the one to hit the button. Yay for buttons! Although I am not stupid enough to press the one that would set off the nuclear warheads and destroy the world. I'm educated enough to know that not every button is meant for pressing. So bitches, back the **** off! Hey look tacos!