Today, I was fined because my son pushed the alarm button in the elevator. Why? There was a spider in there. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was on the elevator at work. As it descended, a roach started scurrying about around my feet. I freaked out and started screaming, hitting the panic button without thinking. Now I'm facing a hefty fine for using the panic button when there wasn't a "real" emergency. FML
Today, I had to drive 40-odd miles to my grown-ass son's house to kill a large spider on the wall. It had him trapped in his bedroom because his wife had already gone to work. How did I ever raise such a wuss? FML
Today, my son was crying and refusing to sleep in his room because a spider ran along the wall, and it's now hiding somewhere. He’s 19. FML
Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML
Today, my son nearly burned the house down with a lighter and an aerosol. His excuse? He was killing a massive spider carrying an egg sack. My wife hates spiders so she refuses to punish him and gave him £20. But sure, dear old Dad will spend money replacing the wallpaper and curtains, no problem. FML
Today, I got stuck in my building's elevator. I pushed the emergency button, which made a ringing noise. After about half an hour, I heard someone yell, "Stop pushing that button, my kids are sleeping." FML
Today, as I was using my mom's computer, a spider crawled onto the screen. So as per my usual reaction to seeing a spider, I smashed it as fast as I could. I missed the spider, but now I have to buy my mom a new monitor. FML
Today, I drove my car into a fence because a spider was crawling from the mirror. The police laughed their asses off. One of them asked, "What should I write in the report? That she got scared of a spider?" Then he wrote just that. FML
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
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Top comments
postaltubealex 0
maybe you should write a letter to your congressman about the injustice.
_Sophia_ 14
Today, I was minding my own business when this kid tried to hammer me to death. Then ear piercing alarms went off. It's been five hours, I still can't hear. FML
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Comments (93)
10glitch01 0
I don't understand how you get a ticket for pressing the alarm button, I'd of taken that to court!
moomoo14 0
I woulda done the same thing spiders are ****** scary
silversonic75 6
It must have been an "alarming" experience for the kid. Makes a little bit of sense doesn't it?
FMLucky 5
Hahaha omg so funny
ZielZone 4
ROFL... you raised a sissy... Good job
kgbjay 1
That makes no sense the alarm just alerts building securty or what ever people mispress it all the time
onlyontuesdaysxD 0
I see you have raised such a brave man.
minamail25 7
I think that is a perfectly good reason to pull the alarm! I hate spider!!!!!
whogivesafuck88 10
Sounds legit
kkrazyangel 16
I see a sex change in the future!