Miscellaneous: Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing...

By Anonymous - 27/02/2010 06:36 - United States

Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML

agreeclassic 27 626

vote type 1 3 180

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By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 02:00

Today, at work, I came back from my break to find a child covered in mud. Turns out it wasn't mud. One of the other children had taken all of the poop out of their diaper and smeared it all over the floor, walls, and other children. The other teacher hadn't noticed, and I had to clean it all up. FML

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By sdasdflkjas - 30/05/2009 04:24 - United States

Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML

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So sweet

By Mom of 3 - 07/10/2018 15:30

Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML

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By Monroe - 23/06/2011 22:30 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my cousin when I realized my aunt didn't tell me where the diapers were. I searched the entire house, but I had no luck. Then my cousin ripped off the diaper she was wearing and peed on the kitchen floor. FML

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Sticky

By Aunjy - 05/05/2013 20:49 - United States - Marmora

Today, I babysat a 4-year-old child for my neighbor. It seems he had diarrhea. The evidence of this is in his pants, down his leg, on the couch, on the bathroom floor, smeared on my wall, and in the shape of a brown handprint on my shirt. FML

agreeclassic 56 594

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Sights, sounds, smells

By Anonymous - 11/03/2023 12:00

Today, I was babysitting my friend's kids. One of the twin babies threw up all over my shirt and it went down my bra. Of course, I didn't have a change of clothes. FML

agreeclassic 731

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Messy

By chuchie - 12/06/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my 5 month-old nephew, who hasn't pooped in two days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolled over and peed on my new carpet. I rolled him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML

agreeclassic 56 593

vote type 1 6 664

By Anonymous - 11/09/2011 19:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to clean up after the kid who discovered he could finger paint with his poo. FML

agreeclassic 36 264

vote type 1 3 187

Shidding and farding

By Anonymous - 07/09/2021 08:01

Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML

agreeclassic 1 131

vote type 1 297

By Vitani_Verci - 15/01/2016 06:57

Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML

agreeclassic 22 977

vote type 1 1 783

xMrAndyTranx 4

Saturday 27 February 2010 12:10

You got double teamed

GodBarack 5

Saturday 27 February 2010 12:53

Shit happens.

Comments

1taylor1818 0

Monday 1 March 2010 3:37

favorite. lol that is ******* halarious!!!!!

DeeJayD 0

Monday 1 March 2010 19:18

Charge more.

fukthislife 0

Sunday 18 April 2010 2:36

lol thats not cool

rairai 13

Wednesday 12 May 2010 11:22

i hope you flung that shit back.

jumpinurpants 0

Tuesday 27 July 2010 16:07

bitch be trippin.

iloveTheMiz 0

Saturday 31 July 2010 17:19

First! :D

freak_the_freak_ 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 18:22

awe ewwww lol gotta love children:))

flashback.miss 28

Sunday 26 February 2012 23:16

Was his name Waldo?

ammerhammer 3

Monday 8 October 2012 18:14

Don't worry, a kid peed on me this summer

BloodandIce 11

Saturday 1 December 2012 14:51

exactly why i dont babysit

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I handed my friend his phone, telling him he'd forgotten it. He responded by taking his phone out of his pocket and showing it to me. I then realized I was holding MY phone. FML

agreeclassic 118

vote type 1 530

Today, via Ancestry, I learned I am distantly related to my boss. Did it bring us closer? Did it buggery. My boss is a vindictive harpy at the best of times and now she knows we share a great-great-grandmother, she hates me even more because “my side of the family blah blah blah…” FML

agreeclassic 350

vote type 1 86

Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML

agreeclassic 43 784

vote type 1 7 778

Today, I visited my 78 year-old grandmother. She thanked me for visiting and gave me a magazine before I left telling me I might find something I like in there. When I got home I looked at the magazine only to realize it's full of dildos and sextoys. FML

agreeclassic 42 434

vote type 1 3 438

Today, my roommate constantly heckles me for using too much water, but I’m super allergic to Gain laundry detergent and any softener, which she uses a ton of. She’s the reason why I have to run an extra load of laundry every week to clean out the machine. FML

agreeclassic 926

vote type 1 106

Bird's gone wild!

agreeclassic 280

vote type 1 89