Today, I was at work and was trying to cheer up my stressed out manager by chatting. We were on the subject of sleeping in when I told her that I loved to be lazy and sleep in when I could. She looked up and down me and then answered, "I can see that." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was written up at work for "leering at my boss". I'm so sorry for having my eyes sore due to lack of sleep. FML
Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman who sits at the desk beside me looks over and says, "Wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML
Today, I so obviously dozed off during a video call at work. Afterwards, my manager messaged me asking if I was OK. I was mortified, and now I'm "on his watch." FML
Today, I walked into work, and the first question my boss asks me is "Are those your pajamas?" I was wearing my favorite outfit. FML
Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML
Today, my co-worker spent the afternoon taking online personality quizzes and messaging everyone the results. She was particularly proud of one which told her she was a hard-working overachiever. My boss walked by just as the message for that one popped up and I got in trouble for slacking off. FML
Today, sleeping in a little late, I was woken up by my phone. Still tired, I quickly checked the display to realize it was my girlfriend calling. I pick up the phone saying, "Hey baby girl!" She seemed pretty startled, so I double-checked and realized it was my new boss, who has the name as my girlfriend. FML
Today, my attractive boss sat me down in the break room to say how much she appreciated how much work I've been doing despite being a temp. She was wearing a skirt, and I couldn't take my eyes off her legs. She then patted me on the leg and said "Good Talk". It wasn't my leg. FML
Today, my boss came over to my desk and struck up a casual conversation about movies. After a while, he sat on the edge of my desk, nodded toward my chest, and said in the same casual, lighthearted tone, "And nice cleavage today. Keep that up." FML
Today, a colleague said I looked “different” and I thought it was a compliment. It turns out they meant that I looked “tired and stressed.” I smiled awkwardly and said, “Thanks?” while internally dying. FML
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Top comments
gz_fml 0
It sucks to be insulted when you are honestly trying to make someone's day better for them. Sorry about your bitchy co-worker!
Noob30 0
HOW ******* HARD IS IT TO TYPE "YOUR/YOU'RE"?! HOOOW, HAAAAARD?!!
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Comments (52)
clos14 0
u suck
Noob30 0
And you can't take the time to press two more keys, Captain Sillyfuck.
allmidnighteyes 11
Last week I had the strangest dream That everything was exactly how it seemed Where there was never any mystery Of who shot John F. Kennedy It was just a man with something to prove Slightly bored and severely confused He steadied his rifle with his target in the center And became famous on that day in November Don't wake me I plan on sleeping in Don't wake me I plan on sleeping in
allmidnighteyes 11
:D Any musical thing Ben Gibbard does FTW
AmericansAreDumb 0
My girlfriend is in love with him... so naturally, I hate him.
elliekinslurvsya 0
oh my god. i love you.
DrunkenValor 0
I just woke up from a 10 hour sleep, and I feel and look sexy. The boss must be a jealous insomniac
ferreal 0
lol classic
The_Pleb 0
i found out that insomniacs are always jealous of people who can sleep, especially people who can sleep at work
pantiehamster01 0
that doesn't deserve "i agree, your life sucks" or "you totally deserved it"...your boss is just a dick.
jonny2x4 0
Sometimes a boss just knows.
anniemarie 0
okay.... so?
palmtrees 1
again with the need for a "so what?" button
Mulada 0
You know, people who sleep more actually lose or maintain their normal weight, right? It's sitting around on the couch eating chips that makes ya fat.
O_HALEZ_NAW 0
How? Your body burns less calories sleeping than when you're awake. Also, the amount of calories you burn while you're sleeping are not like the amount of calories you burn sitting on the couch and the amount of calories being gained eating chips.
SilverInGray 25
You actually burn more calories sleeping, than watching tv.