Today, I was at the movies with my mom and dad, and the preview to my "My Sisters Keeper" came on. The trailer started out with "Most babies are accidents..." Right as that line was finished my mom elbowed me and laughed. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went to see the latest Paranormal Activity movie with my mother. We were terrified and held hands at one point. The person sitting behind us thought it would be hilarious to abruptly scream into my mother's ear. She reacted by flailing and driving her arm straight into my face. FML
Today, during the trailers at the movies, my boyfriend elbowed me in the ribs and smiled when an ad for a weight loss institute was shown. FML
Today, in a big argument, my sister uninvited my mom to her wedding. Trying to comfort my mom, I rented Mamma Mia knowing she's wanted to see it for a while. Turns out, Mamma Mia is a mother/daughter feel-good about the daughters wedding. I had no idea, and my mom cried the whole movie. FML
Today, I went to watch the Movie "UP." At one point in the movie I got really sad and started to cry a bit. The 7 year old girl next to me noticed and told me to shut and man up. FML
Today, I was at the theatre with my 4-year-old son who was situated on my lap. Halfway through the movie, he turns to face me and states loudly, "Mommy, your legs are so furry!". Everyone watching the show turned and stared at us. FML
Today, while babysitting a young girl, I put on the movie Bambi, as she told me it was her favorite movie. I didn't know that her parents always skipped the scene where Bambi's mom dies. Despite my attempts to comfort her, she was still upset when her parents returned. Her mom blamed me. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with my parents. During a sex scene, my dad covered my eyes. I'm married and have 2 kids. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my best friend. While waiting for it to start, I went on to describe this guy I really liked and how badly I wanted to do him. Just then the girl sitting behind us leans down and says "That's my little brother. So you're the creeper he talks about." FML
Today, my mom and I were watching this movie in which some girls start making out. My mother called them "sinners" claiming they'll "burn in hell twice". Then she said, "God doesn't like gays." I'm a lesbian. I picked out this movie as a way of coming out. FML
Today, I went to the movies. Two teenagers behind me had already seen the picture once and shared the entire plot with their friend during first 10 minutes. The finale was intended to be a great twist and I knew it from the very beginning. FML
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Top comments
xOpheliacx 0
So? I was an accident, too. It doesn't mean your parents don't love you or something.
stringoffail 0
I think I was an accident too. Why else would my middle name be "Vasectomy"?
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Comments (182)
Alex77734 0
Don't worry.... I was an accident.
nirvanaroxmysox 0
it's ok. i'm pretty sure i was an accident too.
emikonaito 0
At least your mom didn't sugarcoat it. I asked once, since i heard my mom mention something about me being the youngest, and also the sneakiest (being able to outsmart birth control pills). My response : Oh, baby girl, you weren't an accident, just an...unexpected miracle" How about, FML
omgitsjackiee 0
Aww don't worry. When I was six, my mom and dad were talking about "what a ******* disapointment I am" and wishing I was never born
metro_mello 0
hey my friends mom told her how she tried to abort her take pills and everything but nothing worked. :) her mom loves her but yeah. like the movie said most babies are mistakes so dont be upset about it. your not alone ;)
Canaan_fml 0
maybe she didn't mean it in that sorta way? maybe she was laughing at all the little sperms that are flying around?
SickOfThisScene 0
lol, it sounds like she was joking. i live with my dad, bc my mom is an abusive parent, yet then again so is my dad, and my dad tells me all the time that me and my 6yr old sister,(im 16) who thinks isnt his, but looks alike, are "accidents" he said that we were both a 1 night stand! and he is dead serious. FML!!
SirJamie77 7
Your mother deserves a high-five. It was a joke, lighten up..
rndg 0
Ahahahaha! I WAS PLANNED!
roydawgg 3
you need to redo this as "today, the only people who go with me to movies are my parents. FML"