Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML
Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML
Today, I was at the mall and I saw a kid crying. I asked her "What's wrong sweetie, are you lost?" She ran away screaming "Help me!" I ended up having to explain to a dumb mall cop that I'm not a perv. FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML
Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML
Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML
Today, I was in a shopping centre when a little girl was running up and down the aisles. She started to fall over so I put my hand out to catch her. Her mother then ran up to me and screamed about me 'touching her child' so loud that everyone could hear. FML
Today, I was out grocery shopping when some pervert decided to slap my ass as they walked by. As I turned around to confront them, I saw that the culprit was a 7 or 8-year-old boy. I was so shocked, speechless and angry that I couldn't even decide how to handle the situation. FML
Today, I went to the mall. A little girl was walking around and telling everyone that they were pretty. When she got to me, she gave me a disgusted look and walked away. FML
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Top comments
shiie 0
This is exactly the reason the world is a sick place. Lay one finger on a kid, insta-pedostamp.
hypothetically 0
Haha .. that's excellent.. i love the world
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Comments (65)
pikachu_01 0
Aw, dang, that suckss!! x]
m1cc1 0
Easily explained.
Mnemo_fml 0
Why did the boy have a bruise on his back?
mjschmid 0
It was a bruise from pee-wee football, and yes, it was indeed cleared up later, that day my girlfriend's parents were very wary of me, but eventually forgave it. I wanted to put "an entire mall and my girlfriend's parents thought I was a pedophile" but with 300 char max I figured I'd put the worse one. There is no home abuse, and all's well with the folks now, however. Still not sure I want to go into that mall though
ManganeseDream 0
doesn't even make sense, this place needs better writers
ammali 0
#14, how is he trying to show off?
saltshaker 0
LAWLERS thats great mega lough out loud
Natradtasticx17 0
man thats pretty funny but my brother does that all the time x'D so many pervs now a days lol
lesta04 0
LOL
urbwzrd 0
it is stupid! just because he said something doesn't make you anything. if they think that way, so be it, they are idiot...