Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML
Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML
Today, I was at the mall and I saw a kid crying. I asked her "What's wrong sweetie, are you lost?" She ran away screaming "Help me!" I ended up having to explain to a dumb mall cop that I'm not a perv. FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML
Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML
Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML
Today, I was in a shopping centre when a little girl was running up and down the aisles. She started to fall over so I put my hand out to catch her. Her mother then ran up to me and screamed about me 'touching her child' so loud that everyone could hear. FML
Today, I was out grocery shopping when some pervert decided to slap my ass as they walked by. As I turned around to confront them, I saw that the culprit was a 7 or 8-year-old boy. I was so shocked, speechless and angry that I couldn't even decide how to handle the situation. FML
Today, I went to the mall. A little girl was walking around and telling everyone that they were pretty. When she got to me, she gave me a disgusted look and walked away. FML
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Top comments
shiie 0
This is exactly the reason the world is a sick place. Lay one finger on a kid, insta-pedostamp.
hypothetically 0
Haha .. that's excellent.. i love the world
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Comments (65)
Solidus_fml 0
Lol at the above, and possible.
lpaul49 0
Okay this is just retarded. Honestly 90 percent of what's written on this website could be explained with like a 5 word explanation. The parents obviously wouldn't think you were a pedophile and the kid obviously wouldn't have accused you of doing anything wrong so stop being such a little bitch and posting unreasonable bullshit.
jasey_rae 0
I agree with 13 & 19. there's probably something else going on.
noclevername 0
GG #12
scateice 0
#22,13, and 10 STFU, that felt good
hottiegurl 0
Okay, pat on the head next time....LOL
SeventhFonons 0
Lol guys, seriously, this guy's obviously just surprised at the kid's and the parents' reactions. Give him a damn break, geez.
I2OI3 0
Well we should just assume that more people are pedophiles than not, right? I mean let's be honest - little children are just damn sexy, am I right? {Sarcasm} The reality is that pedophiles are just a small percentage of our population, how many catholic priests are there in the world, not that many. Zing!
aquariusbeauty 0
LOL!!
genius_man16 1
owned by pedophilia craze 'course, if you explained the situation, then you COULD become a PEDO and the parents wouldn't think anything of it... >.>