Today, I was at the grocery store and this hot guy was staring at my ass, so I smiled at him. My mother noticed he was checking my ass out, and she approached him and said "I know she has a big ass, but it's rude to stare, son." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, feeling good about myself, until when I was waiting in line at the checkout, a small kid in his mother's arms in front turned to look straight at me and said, "Ewwwww." FML
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML
Today, I was out shopping with my mom. While we were walking, a guy in a car honked at me. I'm not used to compliments, so I was pretty flattered and flashed him a smile. He looked back at me, confused, then shook his head and pointed at my mom. FML
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
Today, I went to a family dinner. While waiting to be seated, a guy walked by and I looked to see if he was hot. Then my grandma yelled, "Get your eyeballs back in your head and quit staring at boys!" The whole restaurant heard her. Including the guy. And yes, he was hot. FML
Today, while shopping at Wal-Mart, a guy grabbed my butt. When I turned around to slap him, he shook his head, said "Nice ass but such an ugly face", then walked away. I've never been told I'm ugly before. FML
Today, I saw a really cute guy in the grocery store. We made eye contact a few times and I was trying to work up the nerve to start a conversation. Instead, he screamed, "Yes, I know I’m fat, bitch. You don’t have to stare!” I got so many dirty looks I left immediately. I didn’t think he was fat. FML
Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man", and that my ass was "grounds for discussion." FML
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Top comments
Timmo_fml 2
#I like big butts and I cannot lie...#
The_Fonz_fml 0
lol that's funny OP over protective mombot
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Comments (159)
Steve95401 49
Baby's Got Back!
Maflagulator 1
If I were him, I would have corrected your mom and pointed out that your "figure" is a most glorious thing. Bigger IS better, as long as you have proper "hip-to-waist" ratio action going on.
gameplayer529 0
wouldn't cockblock me...
jsalud 4
Oohrah!
triggerit 5
I'd like to look at such a big nice girl's ass...
Toiga 0
Lmao wow your mom just ruined you!
PYLrulz 17
Today, I was at the grocery store when I saw a girl there with a great ass. while getting a good look, her mother cane up to me, said it's a big ass, and said it's rude to stare. FML
maggirl93 0
I like people who say bigger is better.
PYLrulz 17
oop, meant my mother instead of her mother. that's what happens when you do that first thing in the morning
DeathShad0 1
And if it was an ugly guy you'd probably call him a creeper and slap him. Oh you, double standards.
beancoinc 0
if I had been him I would have told your mom that's why restaurants have menus & gotten your number so, don't worry about what your mom thinks but let her know her behavior was inappropriate & set boundaries with her. Smile it makes you even. more sexy.