Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, my doctor told me I'm pregnant. Since we've been trying for several years, I called my husband to tell him the good news. Not long after, my doctor called to inform me there'd been a clerical mix-up and I'm not actually pregnant after all. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office for a minor cold, and left with a diagnosis of pregnancy. FML
Today, I announced my pregnancy to my boss. I was expecting all sorts of reactions, except, "But... Erm... How did that happen?" FML
Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm Dad." FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office after getting a positive pregnancy test. She did another one to confirm the result, which came back negative. My husband is wandering around with a great big smile on his face, because he isn't going to "have a rugrat." FML
Today, I found out that I'm not actually pregnant. I've apparently been having a hysterical pregnancy because I want a child so badly. I don't know which was worse, the look of relief on my husband's face or having to send a mass email to inform my family and friends. FML
Today, at work, someone heard me throw up. I then got called aside and told being hungover at work is unacceptable. I don't drink. I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I was feeling really sick at work. I messaged my boss whether his girlfriend, who also works there, could cover me. He then came down, shouting at me that whatever illness I have, I've also passed on to his girlfriend. I'm pregnant. FML
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Top comments
benr_fml 0
that's just funny
Jimboom 12
Hand in your testicles at the door please sir. You are way to dumb and gullible to be a man.
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Comments (162)
sourgirl101 29
Only if you bring your camera!
Zebidee 9
You should have said, "Well, you're the world's first soprano doctor." then kicked him square in the nuts.
aaronkdubblea 0
naive much?
riggens7522 0
Ur doc is a funny mother ******.
luvpinks 0
lmfao so funny !
shoelaces301 0
PEOPLE! get it right, he would need an egg not more sperm! sperm fertilize the EGG and the egg turn into the baby. two sperm cant fertilize eachother. being gay has nothing to do with it, he would actually need to be straight to somehow get the egg........
fearfulsymmetry 1
I cannot possibly explain how stupid you truly are OP..
iheartowls 0
Wow, there's actually a doctor out there that has a sense of humor? Now, THAT'S a miracle! Or maybe my doctors are just lame?
renesmee18kityy 0
when's the baby due? xP lol jk, that sucks though your doctor needs a humor check
Fail_For_Me 3
"best thus far??" WTF?