Today, I wanted to annoy my sister by playing the air horn app on my iPhone. I forgot that I had headphones in. Let's just say I quickly had to change my underwear. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in a rush, I accidentally wore my sister's underwear. I'm a guy. I had gym class today. FML
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML
Today, I got new AirPods. As I was sitting on the toilet, they fell out of my hoodie pocket into the toilet while it was flushing. FML
Today, I accidentally unmuted my mic during a class, and normally it would've just been silence, but dumb old me just had to sing a song at the top of my lungs, and I only stopped when my phone blew up with notifications. Great. FML
Today, I let my sister use my phone to play music in the shower, expecting her to use the speakers I have. She used a ziplock bag with a hole in it to connect her headphones. Now I have a waterlogged phone and my sister still doesn't understand why it didn't work. FML
Today, I was listening to my iPod while changing the diaper on my baby. One earbud fell out of my ear and onto the changing table so I quickly picked it up without looking and put it back in my ear, only to realize the headphone had fallen onto more than a table. I now have brown earphones. FML
Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML
Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML
Today, I ran to catch the subway, slipped, and my pants ripped across the back. I got on the train trying to cover the hole, only to realize the train was packed with people staring straight at my underwear though my fingers. To make it worse, my phone started playing loud music and I froze as I considered which situation to fix first. FML
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Top comments
Hendrixguy 0
The karma's so thick in here you could choke someone with it.
DJR_fml 2
Haha. Serves you right dick.
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Comments (110)
lolol_BKYCHO 3
The good part is that your pain brightened 40 people's days.
stephanieface 0
and also volime. what's a volime
DenisV95 2
Scurred is the Internet word for scared. :D
Skyblu10 10
49, There is no "Internet word" for common words. It's called slang. By not spelling right you may think your with the "In crowd" but in the eyes of society your an illiterate and ignorant person. ***When I say "You" I don't necessarily mean you, but the people who don't spell right.
ilovesexywomen 0
this sounds fake as ****. nobody literally ***** themselves especially over an air horn.
ashrandom 0
AHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHA! YDI a-hole!
ghbetuehe 0
you're
stingray626 0
hahaha funny shit nd ppl saying karma are stupid its not a big enough deal to say karma ooh since when was a airhorn sound been such a big deal
maz255 10
"in crowd"? da ****?!
ona16 22
ha pre-karma. karma