Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
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Today, I heard a gunshot not too far from the house. This is not unusual, as I live way out in the boonies and hunters tend to roam the woods. What isn't normal is a stray bullet hitting my above-ground pool, which promptly split open and released a torrent of water that flooded my basement. FML
Today, while mowing my backyard, I messily discovered that a family of rabbits has been living out there in the tall grass. FML
Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML
Blowback
Today, I wanted revenge on my neighbor, whose dog craps in my yard, so I spent a day at the dog park gathering up dog shit. I piled it up by the property line and ran over it with the mower, intending to spray his driveway and car with turds. Instead, it gummed up the mower. Now it stinks too bad to fix. FML
Oh no…
Today, my dog proudly brought home a rabbit he'd killed. The same rabbit that belongs to my neighbor's daughter. FML
Today, I was on my back patio talking with my husband. It got dark outside, and I saw something shuffling in the back yard. I freaked out so bad that I went to run inside, only to fly face-first into the screen door. Turns out the shuffling was a baby rabbit. FML
Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML
Ballshot
Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML
Today, I drove home on my birthday, and my mom said she'd meet me there. I was a little surprised to get home and find she wasn't there, but even more shocked to see my rabbit run over in my driveway. Turns out he'd gotten loose and my mom had run him over, panicked, and left. FML
Poor little bunny
Today, after I warned my son repeatedly that if he wanted a rabbit he had to clean and feed it, I checked on it. It wasn’t just dead, it was dead and rotting in a pool of its own pee and faeces. I yelled at him, but he just shrugged and told me rabbits are boring and he forgot it was even there. FML
Top comments
narks 0
Not only did you try to kill it instead of just relocating it, but you tried to justify your shit aim with 'the bullet missed' instead of 'I missed'. This one calls for a YDI unfortunately.
tkmac 0
Sounds like a Tom & Jerry episode.
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Comments (868)
coffeennicotine 0
YDI. Too bad you didn't shoot yourself. It's a poor defenseless rabbit, and you are a ******* asshole.
effmyyliifee 0
that 1st sentence= LMFAO
notnormal 0
to #489 and all the other ultra-conservative, anti-animal people, I bring you this bipartisan message from somebody way smarter than any of you. Here's the deal, laid out in painstaking detail. Animals, as it turns out, feel pain. So shooting one induces a certain amount of suffering. Not as much as a trap, but enough for it to be inhumane. If you're ok with the fact that it causes pain, you might want to go see a therapist. Just a suggestion, but those who enjoy hurting small animals are generally sociopaths. Secondly, not all liberals are against the use of weapons, we just don't agree with many conservatives about how they should be used. For instance, I have used a shotgun before, not very well, but I tried it. I had fun, but shooting clay pigeons. However, I'm very adept at archery, but only shoot at targets. So the point is that weapons can be fun, and also effective self-defense mechanisms for women, but should not be used to take lives. For a person to think that he or she can abuse the power we have given ourselves to make judgments and take lives is arrogant. Now, we address the issue of the rabbit. A rabbit is unable to control its instinct. It eats where it can, and should not be persecuted for it. It would be like killing somebody for drinking the water from a decorative fountain. That sort of thing isn't allowed, but people don't die for it. If you have an issue with small animals, you probably shouldn't be living in their natural habitat. It's not their fault that you neglected to put up a fence to keep them out. you are the invader, not the rabbit. I'm sorry that I have to explain this to people. so here's the bottom line; don't shoot a gun unless your aim is sure, do not kill because you have anger issues or feel that someone or something has done you wrong, and don't be so closed-minded.
zphillips89 0
Can someone please contact affa99 (psot #548) and tell him/her what a ******* dumbass they are. "Contractors put basements below houses" NO SHIT SHERLOCK! but guess what...WATER CAN TRAVEL THROUGH THE ******* GROUND! also, it doesnt matter how far a bullet can travel through water once you puncture a ******* HOLE IN THE POOL. My god were you seriously born without common sense or did your father just hit you on the head too many time for being an ABSOLUTE DUMBASS! How the **** were YOU the fastest sperm. Good lord, it makes me lose faith in all of human kind reading comments from an idiot like you. do us all a favour and NEVER SPEAK AGAIN! (to the dude that wrote the FML, this is in no way directed at you, jsut dumbass affa99)
Kitty34_fml 0
YDI. You deserve much worse. Wild rabbits eat food that is outside. Of course animals are going to eat people's gardens. There's no need to kill them. That is so inhumane and disgusting. I weep for the fact that you might have children, or that you might come in contact with the general public. People like you should be locked away.
love_jd13 0
You can't take out revenge on an animal. STOPPING an animal from being a pest is fine, but KILLING it...? Like the rabbit actually knew that there was anything different about the plants in your garden from the ones it would find someplace else. Of course it had to have some hidden agenda! Not only are you too stupid to know that and to find one of the many other available solutions, but you're also too stupid to even know how to shoot the rifle you brag about having. YDI, idiot. Glad it happened.
pinkducttape 0
#56 some people keep cows as pets - so stop eating burgers! some people keep rats as pets - so you cant kill them if they invade your house! face it - rabbit stew is delicious. basically unless you are a vegan you have no room to talk. at least hunters give the animal a chance to escape. every burger you eat was a cow kept in captivity to be mass slaughtered...welcome to the food chain. op - gun saftey 101 - make sure you arent shooting towards anything you dont want to hit. if you were also going to eat the rabbit - fml if you were just shooting it because thats easy - thats sad and ydi. #558 unless youre vegan - you are a hypocritical asshole. even if you are vegan youre an asshole for expecting people to not be omnivores.
notnormal 0
oh, and I just read a post that said to get a dog to defend your garden. Good idea. Get a medium sized one which probably won't kill the rabbit, but will effectively scare it away. Also, buy yourself a fence to put around the garden. It may not be completely effective, but it will help. I leave you with these parting words: "an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind" --Mohandas Gandhi. Think of forgiveness before you think of revenge.
olive_you 0
This was the first time an FML struck me dumb. You are so idiotic it's not even funny. Maybe next time you want to "take revenge" on a rabbit, you don't start out with a rifle. Moron.
Ohnoitslindsay 0
notnormal (#560)- most intelligent post in the 500+ here. But I wouldn't waste intelligence on these closed minded "conservative" sociopaths. It goes right over their heads.