Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I heard a gunshot not too far from the house. This is not unusual, as I live way out in the boonies and hunters tend to roam the woods. What isn't normal is a stray bullet hitting my above-ground pool, which promptly split open and released a torrent of water that flooded my basement. FML
Today, while mowing my backyard, I messily discovered that a family of rabbits has been living out there in the tall grass. FML
Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML
Today, I wanted revenge on my neighbor, whose dog craps in my yard, so I spent a day at the dog park gathering up dog shit. I piled it up by the property line and ran over it with the mower, intending to spray his driveway and car with turds. Instead, it gummed up the mower. Now it stinks too bad to fix. FML
Today, my dog proudly brought home a rabbit he'd killed. The same rabbit that belongs to my neighbor's daughter. FML
Today, I was on my back patio talking with my husband. It got dark outside, and I saw something shuffling in the back yard. I freaked out so bad that I went to run inside, only to fly face-first into the screen door. Turns out the shuffling was a baby rabbit. FML
Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML
Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML
Today, I drove home on my birthday, and my mom said she'd meet me there. I was a little surprised to get home and find she wasn't there, but even more shocked to see my rabbit run over in my driveway. Turns out he'd gotten loose and my mom had run him over, panicked, and left. FML
Today, after I warned my son repeatedly that if he wanted a rabbit he had to clean and feed it, I checked on it. It wasn’t just dead, it was dead and rotting in a pool of its own pee and faeces. I yelled at him, but he just shrugged and told me rabbits are boring and he forgot it was even there. FML
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Top comments
narks 0
Not only did you try to kill it instead of just relocating it, but you tried to justify your shit aim with 'the bullet missed' instead of 'I missed'. This one calls for a YDI unfortunately.
tkmac 0
Sounds like a Tom & Jerry episode.
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Comments (868)
VioletStrange 0
Oh, and 377 got it right on the head.
vag_fml 0
dude, thats what rabbits do. i don't get it...did you think they were carnivores?
suaveneanderthal 0
jesus christ he was protecting his garden people... if it had been a five foot rattlesnake in his garden how many of you city boys/girls would "hop" on here bitching about shooting at that? but because it's a fuzzy wuzzy wabbit that walt disney got his hands on and mind ****** you all with, everyone decides to raise hell. i don't think the OP posted this so we could have a debate on how he should of disposed of the rabbit, i think the main idea is that he ****** his pool/basement up.... damn almost comment #420...
trailofdead 0
"the bullet" didnt miss, you missed. and I doubt that a .22lr round (very small) would cause catastrophic failure to a pool designed to hold 15000 gallons of water.
effyourface 0
Karma's a bitch isn't it? Maybe you shouldn't shoot at bunnies DICK.
fmlxxxx 0
#102 is what is wrong with America
bortzy93 0
you are a DUMDASS. i think you mean you got daddy's .22 out, cuz if it was yours, you wouldnt be dumb enough to aim remotely close to anything you don't want to shoot....**** face
reetah 0
... I really didn't think there were people this stupid in the world until I started reading fmylife. it seriously blows my mind. and does it bother anyone else that the OP's first thoughts after seeing his garden eaten was "I must get revenge on whatever animal did this by killing it?"
ASatanistHobo 0
YDI for being an asshole, hope you rot in hell you piece of shit
wafflemonger 0
290, you're right, I don't know if everyone complaining on here is a vegan. That's why I said it's *possible,* rather than absolutely true. I don't know what you mean by "this statement affects you as much as it does me." And further, "whinny" is the sound a horse makes, not an adjective. "So basically, it's OKAY for you to kill an animal in order to eat it. But it wouldn't be OKAY for me to kill it because it's destroying my garden?" Yeah, that's what I said. Though to be fair, I'm a vegetarian, so this doesn't apply. There are ways to deal with animals destroying your garden that do not involve killing the animals. I suggest you look into them. It's not NECESSARY Okay, hypocrite. Killing is killing.