Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I heard a gunshot not too far from the house. This is not unusual, as I live way out in the boonies and hunters tend to roam the woods. What isn't normal is a stray bullet hitting my above-ground pool, which promptly split open and released a torrent of water that flooded my basement. FML
Today, while mowing my backyard, I messily discovered that a family of rabbits has been living out there in the tall grass. FML
Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML
Today, I wanted revenge on my neighbor, whose dog craps in my yard, so I spent a day at the dog park gathering up dog shit. I piled it up by the property line and ran over it with the mower, intending to spray his driveway and car with turds. Instead, it gummed up the mower. Now it stinks too bad to fix. FML
Today, my dog proudly brought home a rabbit he'd killed. The same rabbit that belongs to my neighbor's daughter. FML
Today, I was on my back patio talking with my husband. It got dark outside, and I saw something shuffling in the back yard. I freaked out so bad that I went to run inside, only to fly face-first into the screen door. Turns out the shuffling was a baby rabbit. FML
Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML
Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML
Today, I drove home on my birthday, and my mom said she'd meet me there. I was a little surprised to get home and find she wasn't there, but even more shocked to see my rabbit run over in my driveway. Turns out he'd gotten loose and my mom had run him over, panicked, and left. FML
Today, after I warned my son repeatedly that if he wanted a rabbit he had to clean and feed it, I checked on it. It wasn’t just dead, it was dead and rotting in a pool of its own pee and faeces. I yelled at him, but he just shrugged and told me rabbits are boring and he forgot it was even there. FML
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Top comments
narks 0
Not only did you try to kill it instead of just relocating it, but you tried to justify your shit aim with 'the bullet missed' instead of 'I missed'. This one calls for a YDI unfortunately.
tkmac 0
Sounds like a Tom & Jerry episode.
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Comments (868)
corpsegrinder_fml 0
nice going. YDI
aerosparrow 0
Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ, are you guys really getting that pissed for the guy trying to shoot at a rabbit? I'm convinced the average age here is 12.
Weil 0
Virtually everyone on FMyLife is someone who hates humans and loves animals. You are an idiot if you thought you would get sympathy from them. Other than that, why would you try to blow a rabbits head off for ruining your garden? lol you must live in the south.
meddude 0
i think it's crazy how people are freaking out over a ******* rabbit. these guys are serious pests. i would equate them to hopping roaches that somehow have the power to make people think they're cute through telepathy. they are the land version of the pigeon. honestly people, it's a ******* rabbit. it eats people's plants and is a serious pest especially to farmers. now, even though the OP probably isn't on a farm or anything, people need to calm the **** down. it's a rabbit. hasn't anyone ever heard the expression "**** like bunnies"? that's because they reproduce like there's no tomorrow. wake up people. it's a pest. #227: **** you for hating on an entire country where there are many different views and not everyone is like our former douchebag president Bush. #291: somebody forgot to take their ritalin this morning. before anybody starts trying to chew my head off, i in fact support gun control laws and think it's ridiculous how many there are. i'm also a liberal, not a redneck republican (there is more than one kind of republican). please wake up people. thanks.
joho104 0
i love how all the people bitching about the rabbit probably eat lots of chicken and beef. anywho YDI for ever shooting off a gun if you were going to miss anyway
Satoyuki 0
xD The bullet missed. I'm sorry your bullets don't follow orders. You shouldn't have been trying to kill a bunny.
Kaylaroxoutloud 0
Thats what you get for trying to kill an innocent rabbit ya damn *****
missethics 0
Poor farmer. http://pichaus.com/comic-funny-carrots-benjamin-@676913135f80c4ad7abd47fb0fa25692/
meddude 0
also, if you all aren't vegans, think about how you get food. EDIT: before you all go off on this guy again, please read my previous posts so you can think before you speak.
Omsok 0
LOL: Nature:1 Redneck: 0, plus 15' 000 gallons of water. BTW, couldn't you have plugged it? A .22 bullet hols is tiny.