Today, I wanted revenge on the rabbit who ate my garden's plants. When he returned, he was standing next to my brand new above-ground swimming pool. I pull out my 22. rifle and shot at it, but the bullet missed and popped a hole in my pool. 15,000 gallons of water flooded my basement. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I heard a gunshot not too far from the house. This is not unusual, as I live way out in the boonies and hunters tend to roam the woods. What isn't normal is a stray bullet hitting my above-ground pool, which promptly split open and released a torrent of water that flooded my basement. FML
Today, while mowing my backyard, I messily discovered that a family of rabbits has been living out there in the tall grass. FML
Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML
Today, I wanted revenge on my neighbor, whose dog craps in my yard, so I spent a day at the dog park gathering up dog shit. I piled it up by the property line and ran over it with the mower, intending to spray his driveway and car with turds. Instead, it gummed up the mower. Now it stinks too bad to fix. FML
Today, my dog proudly brought home a rabbit he'd killed. The same rabbit that belongs to my neighbor's daughter. FML
Today, I was on my back patio talking with my husband. It got dark outside, and I saw something shuffling in the back yard. I freaked out so bad that I went to run inside, only to fly face-first into the screen door. Turns out the shuffling was a baby rabbit. FML
Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML
Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML
Today, I drove home on my birthday, and my mom said she'd meet me there. I was a little surprised to get home and find she wasn't there, but even more shocked to see my rabbit run over in my driveway. Turns out he'd gotten loose and my mom had run him over, panicked, and left. FML
Today, after I warned my son repeatedly that if he wanted a rabbit he had to clean and feed it, I checked on it. It wasn’t just dead, it was dead and rotting in a pool of its own pee and faeces. I yelled at him, but he just shrugged and told me rabbits are boring and he forgot it was even there. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
narks 0
Not only did you try to kill it instead of just relocating it, but you tried to justify your shit aim with 'the bullet missed' instead of 'I missed'. This one calls for a YDI unfortunately.
tkmac 0
Sounds like a Tom & Jerry episode.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (868)
abcdefg7_fml 0
wow you deserve that you asshole. animals deserve to eat the food from a bitch
Ssmartasss 0
All I can say: YDI. Why would you shoot a rabbit if it is so close to your pool..? Are you dumb? Or just so arrogant?
bobertnoodle 0
You're sick. And goes to everyone else who doesn't think it's wrong. I realize animals are here for us to eat them (even though I'm a Vegetarian) but that doesn't mean we have to randomly kill them for some stupid reason. Wow, it's eating the plants in your garden. Big whoop. It's not like it's rabid and it's coming after you, you murderer. A normal, nonviolent thing to do is to get a Havehart cage trapper and set it free some where far away or put plastic net around your garden. Don't just kill a innocent animal. They're no different from us you freak.
lewalrus 4
What the ****'s wrong with you, asshole?
dspadres 0
Next time turn the gun on yourself. Squirrels rape the stuff I plant all the time so you know what I do? I put netting around to stop them from getting in and I don't have to kill them.
danceonyourgrave 0
#224: animals are killed with rifles and guns and stuff because humans are incapable of shredding meat with our "claws" and "fangs" and that is because we are not anatomically equipped with such weapons. In fact, we have no natural defenses on our bodies. As for all you ignorant asses that are proud humans are the top of the food chain, the only reason we're there is because of man made weapons. If we had no weapons, we'd easily be toward the bottom. Other animals can kill us, making us obviously not the top. Get a brain, douchebags. Also, those who spoke of trespassing, do you really think that animals should be expected to understand our logic (or lack thereof, in the case of most people)? They see an unprotected easily accessible food source, and they eat it. Why? Because it's there. If you don't want them to eat it, be smart. 99% of these comments are ridiculous and ignorant. If you eat meat, don't say "poor innocent animal!!!" because you look like a ******* jackass. Same goes for you assholes who say "KILL IT! IT DESERVES TO DIE FOR EATING YOUR FOOD!" I'm a vegetarian and I don't agree with killing a rabbit because s/he "trespassed" on your food source (as if it's your only one... we don't live in the stone age, you know), nor do I agree with the death of any creature. The ignorance of people sometimes seriously shocks me. Especially you assholes that own guns.
theletterj 0
I don't blame you for trying to shoot it. It's on your property, so it's your prerogative as to how you want to rid yourself of it. I personally wouldn't be able to shoot a rabbit because I find those little guys to be mad ****** cute. But I won't push my agenda on you or anyone else; just because I wouldn't do it doesn't mean that it's wrong, right? However, you are a moron for shooting with your pool in your line of site. A .22 is only accurate within, what? 50ft? If you're shooting it from beyond that range, you're asking for trouble. If you can't hit it from inside 50ft, you should reconsider the idea of you even owning a gun. Stories like this are the reason we even need gun control.
esquared77 0
Don't you look where you're shooting... like if I miss or something what could happen... common sense...
STVader 0
dumbass, use a shotgun next time.
ely46 0
One of the first rules of gun safety is to know what is beyond your target! You either need to take (or re-take) Hunter's Safety, or relinquish your guns.