Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while taking out the trash late at night with my mom, a group of people drove by and decided it would be funny to turn around and chase us up the driveway in their car. Before I even realized what was happening, my mom was already halfway to the house yelling back, "You're on your own!" FML
Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML
Today, I backed out of the driveway of our newly built home. Being unfamiliar with the driveway, I ended up getting bogged in the mud and slid halfway down the steep slope of the front yard, trying free myself. I haven't met my neighbours yet. They stood in their front lawns watching me. FML
Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML
Today, my mom screamed at me to the point of tears, because it rained on her birthday. FML
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
Today, my mother started cursing at a lady for tooting her horn at her in traffic, because there was "no need for road rage." When I tried to calm her down, she slammed on the brakes and told me to get out and walk. FML
Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML
Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML
Today, I got into a fight with my mom over the chores, and stormed out. When I returned later, I found the house had been egged. My mom told my dad she saw me do it, and he won't believe my side of the story. He says I'll be lucky if I see sunlight this summer. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
4Legend 0
Well I'd come out to watch too, I mean who do those worms think they are!? The nerve...
incognito1520 20
Am I the only one who pictured the mom in a robe and curlers while smoking? It makes her seem even crazier if you do.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (135)
JessicaSki 12
If anything, she's on their land!
bloop0 9
I had a similar experience, only I was shouting at a banana for invading my personal space.
djsamixin 3
My sister thinks she is GOD'S wife and calls herself GODDESS MARY. She is diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic with bi-polar disorder. Schizophrenia in women comes on in their 20's. Its sad, but can't help to laugh at her adventures and stories.
xNephilim 19
Well she seems to be living quite the life. God's wife? Not bad at all.
SoultheWolf 19
Was your mother drunk or high...? Seriously thats something a crazy person would do. I'm sorry you were embarrassed. I hope you got a video to show her later so she could see how insane she looked...
bizarre_ftw 22
Mummy's off her meds again!
Fagg23 2
Did she call 911 and tried to press charges on the worms lol.???
hateevryone 15
crazy as hell.
MiddleThumb 0
Hahaha! She's insane.
chelseaaa92 7
Those damn worms!
squirell101 0
Lol