Today, I walked into the house only to be greeted by the strongest smell of dung. I asked my mom about it, and it turns out she's been airing these strange herbs throughout the house, most of which are in my bedroom. She won't let me open the window. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, something smelled absolutely disgusting in the bathroom. Like cow shit and stinky beetles. I started sniffing around, because whatever it was, I had to find it and clean it up. That, however, proved difficult, because it turned out that smell was coming from the new soap my mom had bought. FML
Today, I returned home after a four day weekend at my parents' house. Upon entering by the front door, a horrid stench assaulted my nose. Hours later I still cannot find the source of the foul odor. I'm starting to wonder if this is how it's always smelled without my knowing. FML
Today, I opened my front door to be greeted by what I can only describe as the stink of death. After moving furniture and lifting floorboards, frantically searching for whatever had died, I finally discovered the actual source of the stench - my girlfriend's feet. FML
Today, my mother bolted into my room and let out a huge fart that smelled like rotten meat because she wanted to prove a point, that she had been having intestinal problems for three days. FML
Today, I learned that the "nasty smell" in my room, which I cannot detect, does not exist. It was just my stepmother trying to make me go insane deep-cleaning my room for her personal amusement. FML
Today, I unlocked the door at work and was immediately hit with the most disgusting smell I've ever encountered. Imagine the worst fart you've ever smelled, coupled with sewerage, and mold. The windows don't open. I have the door wide open and have used a whole can of Glen 20. It has done nothing. FML
Today, I used an air freshener in my room to make it smell good. At first, the smell was pretty pleasant. However, by the time it'd "soaked in" it smelled just like weed. My whole room stinks of it, and now my mum is convinced I've been smoking pot in my room. FML
Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML
Today, I came home to the vilest stench I've ever smelled. I had to open a floor vent and scoop up the turd that was inside. Funnily enough, today was the day my scumbag roommate moved out, but I'm sure he had absolutely nothing to do with it. FML
Today, my grandpa came into my room and asked for a pen. As I gave it to him, he let rip the foulest fart I've ever smelled in my life, and walked out without a word. 2 hours later, the smell is not only still there, it's filled the room. Looks like I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch tonight. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
pippa08 0
go around the house farting and tell her your airing the house with your own scents of choice
SAMMILLER098 2
Spray air freshener??
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (85)
nattynatters 14
Yeah. My mom used to burn sage and other shit around the house all of the time. Says it gets rid off all the bad energy. Lock your door and open a window.
makz96 6
Its popular among people with no common sense...
trahelion 0
Sage smells freaking great. Always leaves the home feeling fresh
faceplantangel 4
Actually there is a type of weed 'skunk' weed that really does smell gross.So it's possible her special herbs was that. Either way air freshener is a life saver among men I'm sure it will work against funky herb odor.Best of luck OP
OfficeNinja 5
That happens when the dog eats your stash.
Chad_the_Brony 0
And you don't do it because she said so? Open a ******* window. If that were me, I'd move that shit out and open the window. I wouldn't give a ****. It's my house too, so I have rights too. Just like you.
DocBastard 40
No, it isn't. Do you pay the mortgage/rent? Do you pay the electricity bill? The water bill? Phone bill? Gas bill? No?? Then it isn't your ******* house. You have no rights other than to complain and HOPE your parents listen. If you choose to live there, you choose to live by the owners' rules. Don't like that? Then get out. Otherwise shut up and appreciate the roof over your ungrateful head.
RussianFox 13
We have no idea what the situation is. Who knows maybe OP's family is in a financial situation and OP pays a majority of the bills.
thiscrazything 1
Chances are, if OP is not allowed to open a window, then OP does not pay any of the bills. Relentless complaining may do the trick though.
thinkPlNK 0
i love how my parents always seem to remind me that i live under their house and have to follow their rules (not that I mind it) but yet, when it's time to clean, it suddenly becomes my house too..
DocBastard 40
PINK - amazing how that works, isn't it? Yes, you live there, and you shouldn't expect others to clean up your shit. Part of "their rules" is "clean up your own damned mess".
desireev 18
30- It is your responsibility to clean the house you live in. 99% of the time, it is the kids' mess anyway. It's the least you could do considering your parents pay all of your bills and make sure you're fed and taken care of and you have somewhere to sleep every night. Alot of kids don't have that! So help clean the house and be grateful.
Ugi 27
I'm with Doc B' here - when you have worked for 20 years to get a place that's big enough to house you and your ungrateful family, _then_ you get to complain about the rules. Until you do, be grateful that your contribution is the cleaning and not the $2000 a month.
wittygirl 8
If that's the case and she has to "clean her own mess" and she's a decently clean person already it's not her house till they want something from you. That's the typical cheap parental card they yank out when they for want to clean after themselves they demand you do it. Your the maid till you get out of there. It's why I moved.
desireev 18
The lack of respect for parents anymore stuns me! They keep a roof over your head and make sure you're fed and taken care of.. And you can't even show some respect and clean up the ******* mess in the house?! Wow... Just wow!
Ugi 27
42 - obviously there are people who will abuse any situation but asking your kids to contribute to the upkeep of the house they live in is not unreasonable. Perhaps your parents were asking more than your fair share - fair enough, you moved out. However, there are plenty of kids who continue to live with their parents and accept being kept, cooked for, laundered for etc and still moan about being asked to lift a finger. I agree that kids are not slaves, but they often forget that parents are not either.
glittercookies 12
You're suppose to respect your parents. But when your in high school, the parents should start incorporating the child in decision making too. If someones opinion is respected, they start to mature more and respect others opinions also. I only had one parent so my mom used me as the "other adult" and respected what I had to say too. Just because Soemone doesn't agree with something their parents are doing, doesn't mean they can't have a say or are ungrateful.
DocBastard 40
Glittercookies - your point is very well taken and quite valid. However, I don't think many parents would ignore an actual opinion from their children. We're talking more about the complaining about cleaning the house that the other people are talking about and gets them labeled as brats. It's amazing how quickly and profoundly your perspective changes after you have kids.
XanderJayNix 17
DocBastard, thinkPINK has a point. I agree with you about cleaning ones own mess as a courtesy to others. But when you haven't used a single dish in three days, it's a bit unfair to be to one who has to wash three loads of dishes that other people didn't even bother rinsing. Or to have to scrub other people's streaks from the toilet bowl.
desireev 18
Pssh.. Kids need to feel lucky that they have dishwashers to 'load'. My mom had 3 dishwashers.. Their names were Desiree, Kenny, and Catherine. (My brother, sister, and myself.) We all had our turns of having to do dishes. We all had chores to do. And we did all of our chores without complaining. We appreciated all that we had and we appreciated our parents taking care of us. Our parents didn't have to clean the house. We did. But now that I'm an adult, I'm thankful because I'm not a slob and I am thankful for everything I ever got as a child. And I'm going to raise my children the exact same way. I don't want my child to become an adult and have a nasty house that he can't pay the bills on and have no responsibility. Those are life lessons that need to be learned! And it all starts with doing chores! Responsibility is key!
DocBastard 40
Xander, ThinkPINK does not have a point. Cleaning only after yourself is called "selfish". What if your mother had said "It's not my mouth. I won't feed it. Cook for yourself". You may think it's different because she's the mother and it's her "job" to provide for you. Well it is, but it's your job as the child to respect your parents and help them.
thinkPlNK 0
thank you Doc and Desire. i agree with what you both said but my comment wasn't supposed to be taken serious. lol
downtime 13
Funny how you acknowledge that your perspective changes after having kids but you seem incapable of tolerating those whose perspective hasn't been changed. I think a little understanding that children haven't been exposed to the world yet and as such haven't got a full grasp on how the world works is important. After all, if it is your child, you are the one who chose to bring the child into the world and are responsible for it whether you're happy with it or not. It's funny how parents are more than happy to drop the onus on the child that they need to conform or get out, but in doing so fail to accept their own responsibilities. That said, 20 is a jackass as a result of a parent failing to accept their responsibilities too.
bvq25 8
while i agree with doc that it's not his house if he doesn't pay the bills, we don't know OP's financial situation. my bf lives at his grandparent's house, with them, yet pays most of the bills. OP could have a similar situation.
SoultheWolf 19
Open a window, if she complains tell her to **** off and throw the herbs out the window. I'm sorry but NO house should have to smell like that. I have a strong sense of smell and if anyone put those in my house, especially my room, I would toss them out the window in a heartbeat. I don't care if they are expensive or not, there are plenty of better places to put them.
Ugi 27
If it's your house then you can do as you choose, although being a little less confrontational with those you live with doesn't hurt. However, we assume this is the OP's Mum's house and doing as you suggest stands a fair chance of seeing her out on the street with all her possessions thrown out of the window. An undue sense of entitlement doesn't always bring out the best in people.
perdix 31
It's not the herbs that smell like shit, it's the way your mom is fertilizing them. It's time for you to move out.
Pelreskovich 11
Herbs that smell like dung.. This is a new one for me. If it's that unbearable take them and stash them around her bedroom!
PizzaIsDavid 5
It's weed
Pelreskovich 11
Weed does not smell like dung, sorry to burst your bubble.
jellitonoctopus 19
32- skunk weed does.
desireev 18
Skunk weed does smell disgusting! If you've smelled it before, you know that it stinks so damn bad! But they say that it's the best!
BlesstheSilence 11
Throw them out and open a window. She bought those "special herbs" from the creepy dude down the street!