Today, I've been chronically constipated so long that I was actually grateful for the sudden blast of diarrhea that ruined my pants. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I've realized that I have two modes: Constipated, or ultra explosive diarrhea. FML
Today, I was constipated and strained so hard that I threw up into my pants and all over my shoes. I was at work, and no, I didn’t have a change of clothes. FML
Today, I had a panic attack because I was constipated. FML
Today, at the ripe age of 29, I pooped my pants. It was a little diarrhea and I had expected it to be a fart, so I quickly had to grab my shorts, waddling to the bathroom, commando. FML
Today, I'm constipated AND having diarrhea at the same time. It feels like I'm going to explode. FML
Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML
Today, after a five day bout of severe chronic constipation, I decided to get some orange juice and increase my water intake. The good news is that I'm no longer constipated. The bad news is that I've got diarrhea now. FML
Today, I developed a serious case of diarrhea. This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't suffering from a severe cough as well. I'm terrified to cough again, because I'm running out of clean underwear. FML
Today, I was fired from my job for being constipated. FML
Today, I finally got over having constipation for two days straight. It came in the form of a normal-sized, rock-hard turd that made me scream "Ow!" when it came out. FML
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Top comments
H4H 15
This is the one FML where I can say congrats and sorry at the same time
lui_pg 21
Incoming shitty shituation puns
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Comments (35)
maybeadream 9
Ok so I learned from personal experience that you can still be constipated even if you have a lot of diarrhea. It just had to become diarrhea in order to get around the hard stuff in your intestines. I'm finally better but I really am going to recommend going to a doctor!! Wishing you the best Op!
erinshea 8
Eat chia seeds
Italix_Quan 1
What a crappy situation! OK, OK, I understand! Everybody hates me now, blah, blah, blah.