Today, I tried to treat a cut on my butthole with Neosporin. I couldn't see it properly, so I had to use the front-facing camera on my phone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while using my phone camera as a mirror, I managed to broadcast a Facebook Live video of myself applying haemorrhoid cream to my asshole. FML
Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML
Today, I noticed a spot on my leg that I wanted a closer look at. I went to put my phone screen towards it for more lighting while my sister was in front of me, looking. I'm pretty sure she saw my nude that I forgot was on the screen. FML
Today, at work, man who was buying medicine for his son came up to me for help. He didn't know how to explain it to me, so instead he showed me a picture of a rash on his kid's butthole. FML
Today, I had to take a photo of my asshole after I sat on a rusty nail, causing considerable pain. Thankfully, no major damage was done. Unfortunately, the photo synced up to my mum's iPad, since it's linked to my Apple ID. FML
Today, I tried to discreetly remove a tiny piece of spinach from my teeth during a meeting. I was looking into my phone camera when I realized I wasn't on the front camera. I had been staring at the meeting in progress through the rear camera for thirty seconds. FML
Today, I tried to discreetly check my reflection using my phone screen during a meeting. Instead, I opened my front camera and took a selfie with the flash on. Everyone looked. I smiled like it was intentional. It was not. FML
Today, due to medication I am taking that causes constipation, I have become all too accustomed to using a disposable rubber glove to dig crap out of my own butthole. FML
Today, I was using my flashlight app in the driveway to avoid stepping in puddles, as my new shoes are untreated suede. I dropped my phone in the puddle instead. FML
Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML
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Top comments
LexSwift 17
What in the world are you sticking up there that it's cutting you?
JoshTheMaggot 8
How did you get a cut on your butt hole in the first place? Sharp objects aren't meant for the ass..
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Comments (226)
imepelepticsir 5
best hope your girl doesnt try video chatting with you.
5HT2A 5
Come on guys, clearly OP was shaving his asshole. Lol but the front camera on the iPhone wasn't the most genius idea to use I must admit in fact it's kinda weird and I wouldn't want to be any of your friends that might want to use your cellphone.
j_cat187 20
At least you didn't record a vid and send it to all your friends.
cja101 8
I fail to see the FML in this comment
benmec 18
Just tell your boyfriend to kiss it to make it better... That's sexy!!!
lrgenesis 19
No need to be anal about it
KatelynBabyxo 3
I don't get how it's possible to get a cut there.
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
Sandpaper O_o
lrgenesis 19
Google 1 guy 1 jar. That's how. Actually don't google it's the most horrifying thing you'll ever see
MaceFaceLOL 8
OH DEAR GOD WHY WOULD YOU EVEN MENTION THAT VIDEO?!?
evergleam 2
It's the inspiration for the film The Ring. Once you see it, your life is over, so the least you can do is spread the agony.
Cimba66 1
Seriously? You can't reach around and figure out where it is without looking?
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
That cut sounds like a real pain in the ass...
jerseyboy732 16
well that would be an awkward FaceTime call