Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I attempted to assemble a piece of furniture that claimed to be "easy to build in minutes." Four hours and multiple arguments later, I realized I had misread the instructions, and half the parts were upside down. I'm pretty sure the furniture won this round. FML
Today, I spent two hours building an IKEA bookshelf. When I was finished, I realized it was inside-out. There was no way to fix it without completely taking it apart again. FML
Today, I started building a basic bookshelf from a flat-pack kit without looking at the instructions, because "How hard could it be?" I finished just as the last screw went in, then noticed the back panel was facing outwards and every shelf was upside down. Taking it apart took longer than putting it together. FML
Today, I attempted to assemble a piece of furniture that boasted "easy, step-by-step instructions." Three hours later, surrounded by mismatched screws and a confusing diagram, I realized the only thing "easy" about it was my decision to ask my dad to come round and assemble it for me. FML
Today, after days of my wife nagging me, I started working on the flat pack furniture she ordered. Every twenty minutes, she interrupted me to demand I stop and help her with something trivial and irrelevant. Now I remember why I postpone projects as long as possible. FML
Today, halfway through assembling a toy kitchen for a birthday, I realized the instructions made no sense and half the screws looked identical. I still somehow finished it and felt triumphant until the kid opened the oven door, the whole thing tipped sideways, and I had to spend the rest of the party holding it together with one hand. FML
Today, I spent hours assembling a bookshelf I'd bought online. Once it was finally done, I realized I’d put the back panel on backwards, so now there’s a "Made in China" label facing the room. FML
Today, I was trying to put some new curtains up. I couldn't make sense of the instructions, so I decided to wing it. I spent a frustrating half hour fighting with it, and just seconds after I succeeded, the curtain rod gave way and slammed straight onto my head. FML
Today, I bought a flatpack, easy to assemble cot-bed for my baby. I spent 5 hours building it, but when it was done, I realised I couldn't reach into it because I'm 5ft and my arms can't reach and lift the baby. I'd have to throw him in. I'm suffering from back spasms as a result, and I now need to disassemble and return it. FML
Today, my wife texted me, saying an expensive piece of furniture had been delivered. I specifically said, "Wait until I get home and we'll put it together." An hour later, she opened it and broke it beyond repair while trying to assemble it herself. FML
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Top comments
aaahhhfire21 0
So....y did u end up in your underpants?
bingababe 16
I get the feeling this happens to you a lot.
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Comments (184)
KiddNYC1O 22
I yell at objects as well.
wishfulloser 1
I think out of all of the fml's that I've read that is the best one by far lmao
FalconWhitaker 20
Ah, the pain of flat-pack furnishing... Hopefully nobody called the cops on you like they did on the poor bloke yelling at his video games.
crazy4uboi 6
So... How did you end up in your underpants....?
foreverDark 1
That's happened to me so many times....
DYL1001 3
TELL ME ABOUT IT !
ohSNAPyall 27
**** you, Allen wreeeeeench!
iCagetheElephant 6
Maybe your daughter will help you if you apologize for picking her up from school without any clothes on.
sparklingwho 0
My boyfriend is Swedish, he says it's their way of being freaking evil.
Nursewilly 0
"Plug: Sir, why dont I just buy you a new desk, maybe a nice antique one, hmmm? L.L: Why dont I just throw my money down the toilet, hmm? I think I'll stick with Ikea. The blork. Bleached oak, $79." Followed up with: "Leonardo: What do you think of my desk? I made it myself. And I have all these pieces left. Dante: It uh…looks great. Randal: It's a piece of crap. It looks like it was built by a Re-Re. Dante: What are you doing?! Leonardo: Ah hah! It does, doesn't it!" -Clerks, The Animated Series