Today, I told my mom that I think I'm lactose intolerant, and that I should go to the doctor to get checked out. She said that I was probably just gassy, and then ordered us a pizza for dinner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom was on the phone when she decided to blurt out that she got me probiotics for my stomach issues. FML
Today, my mom claimed that lactose intolerance is a "myth" and told me to drink my damn milk because it's good for my bones. FML
Today, I've been staying with my parents while I have time off from school. They got drunk and started an entire family fight because my dad made pizza and my mom is lactose intolerant. She insists my dad did it on purpose because, "he's an asshole and knows I can't eat cheese." FML
Today, my mom told me she is serving lasagna and Italian cream cake at my bridal shower. I'm severely lactose intolerant, which I have been telling her for years. She responded by telling me, and I quote, "The food is for the guests." FML
Today, my mother bolted into my room and let out a huge fart that smelled like rotten meat because she wanted to prove a point, that she had been having intestinal problems for three days. FML
Today, I had pizza for lunch, a cheesy burrito and cheese rice for dinner, topped off with a big bowl of ice cream. Three hours later, I puked it all up. I guess you never outgrow lactose intolerance. FML
Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML
Today, my mother had just got home and we were both in the kitchen. She then starts to get out food and I smelled deviled eggs. Delighted, I asked, "Do I smell deviled eggs?" She turned around laughing and announced she'd farted. I effectively got hungry from my mother’s fart. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML
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Top comments
Limeila 10
Lactose intolerance is not an allergy.
Zealous57 0
I also said that to my parents and they didn't believe me. You know your body better than they do so insist on getting tested. My body ends up getting full after eating a lot of dairy trying to protect itself so I don't get super sick. It's different for everyone. I found out that I was highly lactose intolerant and found out I can't digest lactose at all. It's been 2 years and I'm still struggling to eat dairy free. You really need a support system to do so. There's also lactaid pills that you can consume when you take dairy to help digest dairy products at like Walmart or Target. They're expensive, but they help you with stomachaches and indigestion when you crave ice cream or chocolate. Pinterest dairy free recipes and there are lots of dairy free alternatives at Whole Food stores. Good luck!
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Comments (28)
claudiajean 24
Are you lactose intolerant or just not a baby cow?
PapiiChuloo 4
lack toast and taller ant.
Geckosrock99 33
I'm lactose intolerant, found out a few years ago. My mom was supportive and helped by finding dairy alternatives. My dad on the other hand thought I wanted to try "some new age diet" as he called it and didn't believe me... Until I got such a bad stomach ache, I had to get curled up to feel even a little bit better. Then they found Lataid tablets for me so that doesn't happen again. Even the store brands work great if you need them, but want to save money.
MissReanimator 11
If you have the means to do so, it might be better to buy your own dairy alternatives for a while. Almond or cashew milk is very tasty, and if you get the unsweetened kind it can be used as a substitute in any meal that uses milk (mac&cheese, mashed potatoes, alfredo sauces, etc) without affecting the taste. So even if your mother is unsupportive, don't be discouraged! There are plenty of lactaid-friendly products out there now, so you may not have to give up as many foods you like as you would think.
bobthefish903 8
I'm lactose intolerant too but have never been officially tested. I had the huge ice cream while on vacation test instead. Buy some over the counter lactaid or similar generic product. They've been a life saver.
AmbrosiaFan 19
She's testing to see if you ARE lactose intolerant. If you are, then you should react to it. If not, then your guess is incorrect.
Scratchworks 2
There is also lactose-free milk. Buy some of that, buy the pills(store brand is fine) and pop one or two right before eating dairy. You'll learn right quick if lactose intolerance is your problem by whether it's been solved.
Amber Hudson 2
<p>I developed an allergy to mushrooms and my mom would hide them in food thinking I wouldn't know and every time I would get sick. I had no clue she put mushrooms in the food until she told me after. </p>
Wendy O Koopa 5
man I've been there. I did a self diagnosis for it then months later in a pandering voice mine said I didn't know if I was. like I had no clue about my body
Wendy O Koopa 5
forgot to add then i did go to the doctor who backed me up and she months later brings out the pandering voice that she knows sends me into a meltdown saying I didn't know.