Kids: Today, I told my five year old daughter that no, she could not...

By screwedwoman27 - 19/06/2011 18:03 - United States

Today, I told my five year old daughter that no, she could not have ice cream for breakfast. She retaliated by pooping in the living room and smearing it on the walls. My in-laws, whom I've been trying to impress for ages, are visiting today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 019

You deserved it 7 502

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Same thing different taste

By AnonymousCow - 20/09/2016 13:04 - Australia - Perth

Today, I told my daughter that she wasn't allowed to eat in her room, so she sat at the table and glared at me for 10 minutes while she ate. She's 15. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 808

You deserved it 1 895

The betrayal

By poopiter - 27/07/2013 18:31 - United States - Grand Junction

Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 215

You deserved it 4 768

By Anonymous - 27/05/2013 22:15 - United States - Lehi

Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 037

You deserved it 3 747

Toilet training

By Anonymous - 22/04/2012 17:12 - United States - Houston

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 347

You deserved it 2 771

By cherbear1000 - 17/06/2013 04:33 - United States - Nottingham

Today, my daughter had ice cream while I was napping. She didn't want me to know so she put the bowl in the trashcan and put the spoon in the garbage disposal and turned it on, because she thought it would make the spoon disappear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 821

You deserved it 5 720

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 555

You deserved it 3 440

By espylone - 17/12/2011 15:42 - France

Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 129

You deserved it 6 494

Primitive art

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 00:30

Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 907

You deserved it 294

Duchamp would be proud

By Anonymous - 23/09/2019 12:00

Today, my five year-old niece thought that it would be acceptable to carve her artwork all over our toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 395

You deserved it 167

By mom - 26/01/2014 04:29 - United States - Spring

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 931

You deserved it 10 131

dyschordia 0

Monday 20 June 2011 0:32

That's some awesome parenting you must have provided to wind up with a horrible little brat like that - well done!

Cr4zyd4wg 0

Monday 20 June 2011 0:32

Sounds like a good, proper spanking is in order.

Comments

HarleyCycle 0

Monday 20 June 2011 3:27

The fact that you are taking time to post this frightens me. You might want to tend to her outrage....

YayFlameWarz 9

Monday 20 June 2011 3:29

The real victim here is bad parenting

999pun999 0

Monday 20 June 2011 3:30

be careful, when you don't buy her that car she wants she may blackmail you in the future!

RomanBeauty 0

Monday 20 June 2011 3:31

that is the worst child I've ever heard of

Clover2009 0

Monday 20 June 2011 3:32

Swear to God if I were an admin I'd shut down comments right now. NO WHERE does it say ANYTHING about how she didn't punish her kid, or how her kid is out of control, or anything like that. Kids act out. They do stuff like this. It's not okay, but it's what little kids do. They're KIDS. Bad parenting? Downfall of society? Quit being so damn over-dramatic, people. Forgive me for the pun, but shit happens. I hope none of you have kids.

Clover2009 0

Monday 20 June 2011 3:34

#133 - Really? I've heard of little kids shooting their parents. I'd take my kid smearing shit all over the walls then shooting me. You seem sheltered if this is the worst you've heard of.

Cbsrover22 0

Monday 20 June 2011 3:38

New paint job!!! And it scented paint!!! (:

trumpet27 1

Monday 13 February 2017 7:57

That is what happens when you don't give little kids what they want. You should know that. YDI. Big time.

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Tuesday 5 September 2017 23:03

I hope you gave that brat a severe punishment that included making her clean up the walls. I've heard of kids acting up when they don't get what they want, which mostly include yelling, throwing hissy fits and maybe throwing things around, but smearing shit on the walls? I sincerely hope you didn't let this one slide.