Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. While I was asleep, he drew a face on my stomach and when I woke up he was talking to it. He said it would be less weird if he was talking to my stomach with a face on it, representing the baby. According to him, our child is going to have a mustache. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he was growing a mustache, as he had whiskers. He looked at me and said "No, but apparently you are." FML
Today, my husband jolted in bed and while still half-asleep said, "I had a nightmare; I dreamt we had a kid." I'm 8 months pregnant. FML
Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm Dad." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling and telling eachother nice things. The nicest thing he could think of to say to me was "Well, I see you shaved your mustache." FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a $300 cooler for Valentine's Day. When I asked what he got me, he pointed at my stomach. I'm 3 months pregnant with his baby. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend of 4 years that I'm pregnant. He suggested we get a paternity test done. FML
Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML
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Top comments
5t3ff1k4h 47
At least he wants something to do with the baby.
mammer 0
At least he's going to be a real father, and not a dead beat.
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Comments (328)
Allielovespanda 0
lmao cuuute :)
PinkSpiderFelix 0
I fail to see how this is an FML. This is amazingly funny.
lolcartoonhero 0
Agreed. I would though it was freaking awesome.
bbygirlsmiles 0
This Is A Good Thing . He Isnt Leaving You Like Sonebody Else May Have . Why Are You Complaining ?? FYL For Whinning .. Smh
tokyohenjin 5
Your Spelling and Use of Capital Letters Need Work.
LexSwift 17
Unless you were mimicking her, your use of capital letters need work too. Lol.
LexSwift 17
needs*
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
The punctuation needs some major work as well. You're either an editor's nightmare or wet dream; I can't quite decide which. Lemme guess, Lexa... the 'Swift' is ironic, right?
invadertoto 0
That's cute.
1emma1997 0
that's hella funny :D
KarateDuck 0
well maybe If you have a little extra fuzz on the rug he will when he comes out.....
minas23 0
Stop having a freaking bitch you bitch. Gah. Don't use this site ever again. Ever. Now go!
A7XfoREVer6 10
I'm sorry, what?
mammer 0
At least he's going to be a real father, and not a dead beat.
5t3ff1k4h 47
At least he wants something to do with the baby.
Ferala 0
Aw that's adorable :) at least he tries