Money: Today, I thought it would be a good idea to Super Glue a couple...

By Anonymous - 05/05/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to Super Glue a couple of quarters to the sidewalk downtown and watch people try to pick them up. Unfortunately, street patrol was watching me glue everything the whole time. I was fined with public vandalism and defacing US currency. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 538

You deserved it 101 390

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Same thing different taste

By fml - 25/04/2009 01:55 - United States

Today, I was walking through town when I saw a plastic bag on the ground. Trying to be a good citizen, I picked it up, intending on throwing it in the trash. When I looked up, there wasn't a trash can for another hundred feet. So I put it back down. Now I've got a $200 fine to pay for littering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 003

You deserved it 61 049

By Sam - 26/09/2011 11:46 - Australia

Today, in a desperate attempt to get my business "out there", I dropped a few of my cards on a station floor. I got a call, even a quote. A $500 fine from the transit for public littering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 278

You deserved it 35 072

By aianmoo16 - 01/05/2016 21:52 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was at a mini arcade and accidentally put a hundred dollar bill through the quarter machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 444

You deserved it 9 200

By Criminal - 13/07/2010 23:15 - United States

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I wrote a check, and on the way to deposit my fine, I got another one. I put both fines in a box down town, and I turned around to see a cop putting a parking ticket under my wind-shield wiper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 940

You deserved it 49 374

Too good to be true

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Lafayette

Today, I was walking when I saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realized a kid was laying them out in a trail. I'd collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 065

You deserved it 22 148

By Anonymous - 21/06/2019 20:00

Today, I was walking on the street when a woman in front of me dropped a couple of dollars. I picked them up and chased her to return it all. She insisted that it wasn't hers. I tried to tell her it was, but she wouldn't accept it. A cop saw me and arrested me for solicitation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 990

You deserved it 195

Grab it while you can

By Arabian_Soap - 31/05/2021 16:01 - Australia - Mermaid Beach

Today, I was walking through a rich part of the city and saw 2 dollars on the ground. I didn't pick it so people wouldn't think I was poor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 1 200

By iblamethetories - 11/10/2012 17:49 - United Kingdom - Colchester

Today, I had to pay my bus fare in very small change. After carefully counting out coins under the withering glares of a bus-load of people, I quickly slid them into the machine, and somehow ended up jamming it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 838

You deserved it 4 863

By quarterback - 23/01/2011 05:43 - United States

Today, while at the vending machine, I put in my $20 instead of my $1. I got my change back in quarters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 104

You deserved it 44 611

By ethawesome1125 - 03/11/2014 00:11 - United States - Round Rock

Today, I found a $20 bill on the ground, so I decided to pick it up. It was actually attached to a string and was meant to be a prank by some kids. They failed miserably, so I took the money. They ran up to me and punched me in the balls for taking their cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 498

You deserved it 7 499

tick_tock 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 16:06

Haha, that's hilarious. But yes, you deserved it I'm afraid.

KEVINPASH 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 16:20

Street Patrol? you must live in the hood.

Comments

tick_tock 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 16:06

Haha, that's hilarious. But yes, you deserved it I'm afraid.

Hbkbryan 0

Tuesday 8 June 2010 0:48

first

kayladance101 13

Thursday 2 September 2010 4:00

thats actually really funny...i can picture people trying to pick them up! ahaha

that_band_nerd 22

Wednesday 19 June 2013 6:23

146, you are so far from first that it isn't even funny. Calm down. A lot.

farmgirl 3

Tuesday 5 May 2009 16:08

Good try, but next time try doing it without people around

IscoreOnU 19

Thursday 5 May 2011 5:01

all he has to do is just no chalantly drop a quarter on the ground. Not bend over and stick it to the ground...

AtoZnumbersand_ 1

Tuesday 5 May 2009 16:09

LOL thats great.

maedoc 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 16:11

i love when pranks blow up in people's faces. you totally deserve it

Maddisonboii 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 16:16

Lol, wow. Im gunna do this.

KEVINPASH 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 16:20

Street Patrol? you must live in the hood.

elcartel 0

Monday 10 May 2010 3:14

haha WTF

Jimboom 11

Tuesday 5 May 2009 16:20

Lol! Epic fail!

Jbugbaby28 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 16:21

Youre kind of a jerk!

rukusrazor 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 16:23

Street Patrol = Beat Cops. They are everywhere in Minneapolis, some even have those really lame 3-wheel segway things. Not just in da ghetto.

blindEFFIGY 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 16:24

Yep, you completely deserved it. :3

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The Top

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 784

You deserved it 22 713

Today, thanks to pregnancy hormones, I had the most vivid dream of eating a caramel apple mousse cake with vanilla bean ice cream. Unfortunately, yesterday, also thanks to pregnancy hormones, I was diagnosed with diabetes. My dreams are taunting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 932

You deserved it 266

The Top

Today, I was cycling home. On the way, my laces got stuck in the bicycle pedals and I couldn't move the foot that got stuck. The bicycle fell over, with me attached to it. Everyone was looking at me like, "What are you doing?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 536

You deserved it 355

Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 232

You deserved it 450

Today, on a train, I nearly choked while sleeping with my mouth wide open. The little old lady sitting opposite me was entertaining herself by throwing little pieces of balled-up tin foil into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 68

Today, the guy I like told me in casual conversation that I shouldn't get mad at him if he makes out with other girls at the bar, he only does it when he's drunk, that he doesn't really like them. We've been sleeping together for a week now. He met me at the bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 340

You deserved it 35 614

Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he came and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 235

You deserved it 19 348

Today, my friends and I were feeling nostalgic and decided to listen to some of Dane Cook's old stuff. We got to "The Friend Nobody Likes" and I commented that I'm glad we don't have a person like that in our group. This was followed by a very awkward silence, and someone suggesting we listen to something else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 156

You deserved it 234

Same thing different taste

Too good to be true

Grab it while you can

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