By a tad whipped - 28/04/2013 20:44 - Australia

Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 59 199
You deserved it 7 228

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Looks like she is the one who deep throated a cactus, she's really stingy. But you should try and take it as high as you can and see If you can get the money back somehow, good luck OP and sorry to hear about how unlucky you are with family


MrBrightside21 20

I would call her back and apologize for her parents not being able to afford her abortion, because that is more than cruel. But then again, you do have the upperhand by not slumping down to her level. Hopefully you never have to withstand the awful vibe of her ratchet presence again OP.

Mother-in-law of the year potential right there

Honestly, her daughter should give her an ultimatum- pay back the money, apologize, and respect her husband, or the daughter will cut ties with her. An in law should never speak to their child's spouse like that; it shows disrespect for their spouse and their child.

I would go more on the lines of... If you didn't exist, I wouldn't have someone to bang every night. It doesn't suck it self ya know..

SwaggCapone 11

Well that escalated quickly

Glad to see the Aussies have trailer trash too.

What about calling her everyday until she pays it back?

"Glad to see the Aussies have trailer trash too." We call them bogans :D

Well in my experience, deep throating a cactus is quite enjoyable. So she's not THAT cruel.

But if the Mother-in-Law was never born than OP's spouse would've never been born.

Looks like she is the one who deep throated a cactus, she's really stingy. But you should try and take it as high as you can and see If you can get the money back somehow, good luck OP and sorry to hear about how unlucky you are with family

Zyzz7 12

OP, man, coming from a fellow Aussie, you shouldnt have given the bitch any money in the first place, even if she is the mother of your spouse, it sounds like she is the ****. Just go through her purse whenever shes around and take what you can.

Go to your wife/girlfriend, ask if she will talk to her.

Mother-in-law implies wife, otherwise I'd agree with your advice

I might just be a stubbern sob but I wouldn't send my wife. I'ld take that bitch head on.

#18 Mother-In-Law is the mother of your wife. -_-

Actually, mother in-law refers to your spouses mother. Does not matter if it is your wife's mother or your husbands mother.

18- >insert genius meme here< . Why would a guy stay with his girlfriend if she was the one that had said that?

Dear lord guys...the original comment says "go to your wife/girlfriend" so I said "mother in law implies wife" meaning if it's the mother in law then the commenter should have just said wife

I'm pretty sure there's a lot of places in the world where men can marry men. So it's entirely possible it's his husbands mom.

@117 currently only 14 entire countries have done it. most of then being countries with a much lower rate of religion then countries like america(whodaguessed) and@ everyone else I started refering to my fiances parents as mother/father-in-law as soon as we were engaged. but I guess that defeats the purpose of the name since engagements are not law binding so they would not be in-laws.

117 - Not in Australia, unfortunately.

That bitch is crazy. Talk to your husband but you probably won´t get the money back.

Op could be gay, bi, or pansexual you never know.

StalkerChick 13

OP should just take that bitch to Judge Judy. (Or the Australian equivalent)

gay marriage is not legal in Australia yet so I doubt he's gay and wtf is a pansexaul?

Pansexual is the term used to refer to people with strong sexual urges towars pans and/or other cookware.

throw her out of a window with an piano after her.. i hate poeple like her.

I wanted to correct your spelling so bad but I read your profile so I can't :( just know that "an" is only used instead of "a" when the next word starts with a vowel

#13: You really have no room to talk.

13- Well if you're going to be a grammar nazi, "bad" should be "badly" because it is an adverb.

13.. what is a vowel hahaha. i'm sorry for my spelling !

Wouldn't worry about it, a lot of people get way too hung up on grammar and spelling. a e i o and u are vowels

Fair enough, but it's not like I was a dick I just gave him a lesson in English is all and then I received one no harm no foul...

thank you for explaining :) hopefully i'll remember it as wel :)

25 apparently any attempt at helping someone with grammar is being a grammar nazi now? I apologize for my own missing an adverb but I was very polite in informing him of the difference. it's not like I said "POEPLE POEPLE POEPLE POEPLE POEPLE POEPLE POEPLE POEPLE POEPLE" or something to that effect, which is common on other forums... Feel free to thumb this down though since everyone on this site is clearly out for blood today anyways, thanks and have a good day.

#41: The grammar Nazis would get you for your misuse of commas first, your starting of an incomplete sentence with the word "and" second, your abuse of punctuation third, and your misspelling of "grammar" fourth. They can't, however, get you for a run-on sentence.

Too bad you lacked the knowledge to use the correct forms of "it's" and "here's". Oh well...

Who cares about the spelling, don't waste a beautiful piano on a bitchtoad!!!!!

NagainaFier 16

Forget the piano! Throw a ******* chair!

A university has many books. A unicorn has one horn. An hour has sixty minutes. An 'S' looks like a curled snake. There, I just put 'an' before words which start with a vowel, and 'a' before words which begin with a consonant.

123: It's more about word sounding than just being vowel or consonant, ex the letter "S" if spelled phonetically would be something like "es" since the first sound is a soft e sound, which calls for the us of an instead of a, also I can't think of an example where an would be before a word starting with y so I'm not sure y is involved

University- first sound (yoo) in my unprofessional linguistics. Y sound= a instead of an Umbrella- first sound (uh) U/vowel sound= an instead of a

its not the letter so much as the sound you use an before hour because the h doesn't really make a sound.

Exactly my point 125. If you are going to teach someone grammar, you make sure you teach the correct things. Telling someone something vague and inaccurate (like what you did before) is only going to do more harm and good. There's no point preaching if you don't know the bibles well.

My own reply is a classic case of not checking the message thoroughly before posting it. I apologise for the errors.

what the hell did i do ! now everyone gets lessons in a or an :)

I just wouldnt worry about her. Let her do her stuff and u do urs. Just let her be

HeyHeyFishFillet 34

I disagree. People like OP's mom need a taste of their own medicine or they'll be assholes for the rest of their lives.

NagainaFier 16

I find it extremely doubtful that OP's m-i-l is the type to live and let live. While in theory your advice is good, in execution, she's probably one of those people who will bitch no matter WHAT you do.

I wouldn't retaliate. The advice would be solid, but I have the feeling that OP's MIL would take it personally and use that as a reason to retaliate back in a never ending spiral of destruction.

Well, Victoria, while I wish you had expressed your opinion with proper grammar and spelling, I agree with it. I used to be married to someone like this, so I know better than anybody it's not worth having someone like this in your life on the off chance that you'll be able to collect a debt from them. Nor is it worth trying to hurt someone like this for vengeance, because often they don't feel enough to be hurt, and even if you do manage to hurt them, they hurt you even worse in return. Seeing as how he's married to this person's daughter, though, he may not be able to cut her out of his life. He should if he can, though, because he'll be better off without her and, considering her attitude, he's not likely to get his money back anyway. If he can't cut her out of his life though, he'd be better off letting the debt go unpaid, but bringing it up anytime he has to talk to her, even if she responds like this every time. That way, she'll avoid him as much as possible, and maybe even do the cutting off herself. That would be well worth whatever amount of money she owes him.

Harvest and sell her organs, till her debt is repaid.

A bitch like that wouldn't get much for those organs. Don't waste your time...just cut her up.

Zack6849 8

Was that entire wall of text really necessary?

FYL OP, take it as a lesson learned and don't do another damn thing to help her, ever. Hope it didn't cost you too much...

Wow, Super Bitch strikes again. My condolances your in-law's an asshole. :p

Indeed. But I admit I'm a tad impressed by the originality of her venomous statement. Can't say I've ever heard of that particular insult before.

Really? Is it "****" or "deep throat a cactus" that you've never heard? I've heard both, but never said to a man.

That's when you take said cactus and shove it down HER throat.

I would rather shove it up her ass, the pain will last longer

Now now 132, there is enough cactus to act on both your suggestions.

What a monster in law. I definitely feel your pain :(