Today, I saw a photo on Instagram of my friend flipping the camera the bird. She'd tagged it under "irony", so I jokingly suggested that she borrow a dictionary. She responded with a tirade of abuse, claimed to be sleeping with my boyfriend, and blocked me an hour later. FML
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Black Friday
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Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML
Today, my girlfriend started insulting me on Facebook. Angry and hurt, I let it all out and insulted her back with her obesity. Turns out it was her brother who used her account to play a "prank" on me. FML
Today, my girlfriend sent a text asking if I think she’s pretty. I replied "Yes, of course!" She then got mad and blocked me. Turns out she'd said "petty". FML
Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML
Today, a girl and her boyfriend dramatically left our group chat. One of her friends, a mod, is blaming me over a public exchange we had; he says it proves I "don't know her AT ALL." The crazy bitch called me every istaphobe in the book over not liking her favorite anime, and left because I told her to grow up. FML
Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, my best friend has blocked or ghosted me on everything. Why? She showed me her plan for getting her life back on track. I pointed out that her creepy, controlling boyfriend would never allow her to do any of it. Somehow, she took that to mean that I'm in love with her, and that I'm trying to break them up on purpose. FML
Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML
Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML
Today, I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I noticed my boyfriend had commented on a post. It said, "Tag the hottest girl you know". Yeah, he tagged his ex. FML
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Top comments
ThatsMyPie 20
Be the bigger bitch. Tell her that there's a vicious rumor about her having an STD and you are letting it continue because "it's way too funny."
0RedPenguin0 8
It was definitely ironic that she flipped out like that
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Comments (89)
charvisioku 22
That's because Instagram is Twitter for stupid people who can't read.
fatalcharm 1
If she says she is sleeping with your boyfriend, then she probably is. Dump him fool.
CaptainBlack 18
Sounds more like her life sucks. Yours has one less overreacting bitch in it.
carrieannamarie 4
So who else actually went on Instagram and searched irony in the hash tags to see if that picture would come up..