Today, I received the bubble wrap that I'd ordered. When I opened... - FML

By MyDeliveriesCanWait

Today, I received the bubble wrap that I'd ordered. When I opened the box, almost every single bubble had been popped. At the bottom of the box, there was a sticky note that said, "Sorry." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1758

You deserved it

118

Tweet

Share

White line fever

Alexa, play "Paranoid" by Black Sabbath

The opposite of a good idea

By CooBerry3851 - United States

Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pounds father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33607

You deserved it

3220

Tweet

Share

By Tor - United States

Today, I was in class and felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I began to scream and cry because the pain was horrible, so the teacher called 911. After being rushed to the hospital, I was told that "I had gas cramps and would be fine." My whole class was listening on speakerphone to make sure I was ok. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48684

You deserved it

12835

Tweet

Share

By downlowtooslow - United States

Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58544

You deserved it

6834

Tweet

Share

By wet and sad

Completely soaking

Today, I was walking to work when it was starting to pour down sideways. I was pretty early anyway, so, I decided to duck into a bus shelter and let it pass. Suddenly, a big truck comes and drenched me with the biggest puddle. Soaking from head to toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1863

You deserved it

139

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I spun a two year old upside down, in circles. She wasn't remotely dizzy. I threw up on myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22536

You deserved it

11008

Tweet

Share

By Where is the faith in Humanity - United States - Tacoma

Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44269

You deserved it

8790

Tweet

Share

By e - United States

Today, I couldn't find my key so I sat against the wall to wait for my roommate to get home. I fell asleep. When I woke up a few hours later, I could hear her inside. She chose not to wake me up and let me in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27350

You deserved it

4293

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend said that we can "maybe have sleepovers" at his house when he FINALLY moves out. He's 24, and we've been dating for 6 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28352

You deserved it

8049

Tweet

Share

By jobless1

Today, I went to an important job interview, only to be told I'm not what such a "prestigious" company was looking for. This from a pimply-faced 20-something who took a personal call on speakerphone mid-interview, and actually said "lmao" out loud at his friend's joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27434

You deserved it

2096

Tweet

Share

By DumbFish

Today, I got up the courage to go to a nice place for lunch alone. I wasn't expecting the tilapia I ordered to be the whole fish, so I asked the waiter for a box because, "I forgot about an appointment in 20 minutes," just so he wouldn't think I was an idiot who didn't know what I was ordering. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3719

You deserved it

956

Tweet

Share

By OverWorked1 - United States

Today, I was talking to a co-worker about birth control. Ten minutes later, I went to my sent e-mails to copy and reuse an old e-mail and realized I had sent "I tried calling you but your birth control is not working" to a student. It was supposed to say "voicemail". FML

I agree, your life sucks

10302

You deserved it

24152

Tweet

Share

By my boyfriend is a slut

Today, I took my new boyfriend to my step-sister's wedding. He knew more people there than I did, including 3 bridesmaids he used to sleep with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4786

You deserved it

475

Tweet

Share

By Meh - United States

Today, two days before my birthday, my parents drove three hours to visit me at school and take me out to lunch. I assumed that it was to celebrate my birthday. They told me they are getting divorced. FML

I agree, your life sucks

70781

You deserved it

2803

Tweet

Share

By XxEmoWolfiexX - United States - Indianapolis

Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24780

You deserved it

2608

Tweet

Share

By fmyarse - United Kingdom - Blairgowrie

Today, I realised a second too late why trying to hack a popcorn kernel out from between your teeth with a steak knife is really a bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6571

You deserved it

48705

Tweet

Share

By awkwardencounters - United States - Belleville

Today, at the gym, I realized the guy who has been staring at me for the past 3 days is the same guy I promised to text back 5 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24196

You deserved it

49179

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I went on a date. I went to the bathroom for five minutes and returned to find my date had not only left, but poured ketchup all over our food to ruin it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2489

You deserved it

178

Tweet

Share

By arekusa - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mother thinks I'm a loser and a scumbag. We haven't even met yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33229

You deserved it

3449

Tweet

Share

By bonedregardless - United States

Today, at my cashier job, I got written up for accepting obviously photocopied coupons. Last week, I got written up for "inadequate customer service" because I refused to accept the same bogus coupons from the same customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48509

You deserved it

2407

Tweet

Share

By GodMemory_AbsentMind

Today, when paying for gas, I realized I'd forgotten my wallet back home. After a moment of panic, I managed to remember my card number. I paid, blowing the cute cashier's mind, and drove away, before my car started sputtering and slowed to a crawl. I'd used the wrong fuel. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3531

You deserved it

4930

Tweet

Share

By FathersDay - United States

Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41351

You deserved it

20955

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 6/10/2020 05:03

The other stage of grief

Today, I found out the girl I’ve been seeing for a few weeks is freaky. At her grandad's funeral, she got so upset she had to leave the room, only to drag me into the priest's office for a quick blowjob. Apparently, death turns her on. I had oral sex at a funeral. I’m going to Hell for sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks

969

You deserved it

424

Tweet

Share

By pianoblues - Canada - Thunder Bay

Today, I did a piano audition for a musical. Afterwards, the judge asked if I have experience with percussion, and then told me she was considering me for a percussion part. I guess my piano audition really was THAT bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9958

You deserved it

1045

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving home from swim practice with my mom. I glance over and see my brother's hot friend who I've been secretly in love with forever. He waved to me, and excitedly I waved back. I then hear my mom say "You're gonna die when you see how bad you look right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks

71464

You deserved it

5070

Tweet

Share

By theblackrose23 - United States - Lansing

Today, I found out my grandfather died via Facebook, because apparently both my father and my aunt think posting a status about it immediately rather than calling family is the thing to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47986

You deserved it

2824

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I noticed my house smells a lot like my grandma's. Not because we use the same cleaning products or anything like that, but because I'm slowly turning into a crazy cat lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9472

You deserved it

24882

Tweet

Share

By fjsinedniend - United States - Missoula

Today, I was having a conversation with a new friend when she remembered she needed to grab something from her car. I don't know where she parked, but it's been two and a half hours and she's still gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24462

You deserved it

2194

Tweet

Share

By bottomdrawerraider - United States

Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29892

You deserved it

12123

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Fresno

Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28312

You deserved it

35617

Tweet

Share

By Junkrat

Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral sex when he pulled away without warning. As I looked up at him to see what was wrong, he screamed "JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE!" and shot his load in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16219

You deserved it

3217

Tweet

Share

By meunluckycharms - Canada - Toronto

Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

27524

You deserved it

1810

Tweet

Share

By NatchezParadox

Tinder surprised

Today, I watched as my Tinder date arrived at the coffee shop and mistook another woman for me. He never realized she was the wrong girl, and they spent the entire date together before leaving. The only similarity between me and the other woman was our hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2664

You deserved it

526

Tweet

Share

By Cassandra - United States

Today, my mom took a bright red sharpie and drew a red circle just above my breasts. She said, "If I can see this, ever, your shirt is either too low cut or too see through and it will be thrown away." FML

I agree, your life sucks

32531

You deserved it

12157

Tweet

Share

By Hooker - United States

Today, I was on a girls' trip in Las Vegas. I met a cute guy at a bar and we were going back to his hotel room together. On the way up, he asked me how much it would cost. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48902

You deserved it

20492

Tweet

Share

By my_only_friend - United States - Chicago

Today, I was invited to a party. Since I rarely get invited to any, I was super pumped. Both my parents work late, so I texted a couple of people to see if I could catch a ride. It turned out everyone's cars were full. I ended up missing one of the only parties I've ever been invited to. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57579

You deserved it

7252

Tweet

Share

By dypshyyt - United States

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24067

You deserved it

56326

Tweet

Share

By Sleepless Dreams - Canada - Toronto

Today, my roommates told me about all the stupid and embarrassing things I did last night, none of which I remember. Drunk out of my mind? No, I just tried a new sleeping pill after weeks of insomnia. I still barely slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9009

You deserved it

676

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom told me that my new concealer is way too dark and makes my skin look hideously orange and uneven. I wasn't wearing any makeup. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35125

You deserved it

4443

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML

I agree, your life sucks

44586

You deserved it

7864

Tweet

Share

By abjoro

Today, I found out that the cute guy who sits in front of me in class and who keeps looking at me over his right shoulder is not interested in me as I had been led to believe. He has mild Tourrette's and his tick happens to be scratching his chin over his right shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4000

You deserved it

423

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By spillmybeans1 | 5

#7835957 - Saturday 24 August 2019 2:14

I would contest the charge.

By RichardPencil | 28

#7835967 - Saturday 24 August 2019 2:58

Flip the note over. I’m sure it says, “Not sorry.”

COMMENTS

By spillmybeans1 | 5

#7835957 - Saturday 24 August 2019 2:14

I would contest the charge.

By RichardPencil | 28

#7835967 - Saturday 24 August 2019 2:58

Flip the note over. I’m sure it says, “Not sorry.”

By LostSoul | 19

#7835968 - Saturday 24 August 2019 3:09

This made me giggle. I love it!

By Sady_Ct | 37

#7836047 - Saturday 24 August 2019 13:06

I would get on to the supplier, that’s isn’t good enough. I would pop the bastard that popped my bubble wrap.

By icecreamisrad | 13

#7836349 - Sunday 25 August 2019 15:13

I’m sorry, but this made my day haha