Today, I realized why the lady I had complimented the night before on Halloween about her amazing one-armed costume, looked so hurt. She is literally missing an arm. I'm an asshole. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was pretending to be a mom with my friends, and I was joking how I bought them candy and that it cost me an arm and a leg, only to realize that the cashier only had one arm. FML
Today, I dressed up as my friend for Halloween. He has a very distinct style and I thought my costume was pretty clever. When he saw me, he said he had never been so offended in his entire life, and now I feel like a complete asshole. FML
Today, I complimented a girl on her stockings pattern. Turns out she wasn't wearing stockings. FML
Today, it's Halloween. I get bullied every day and this was no exception, but this time I got beat up so hard I bled. Everyone thought it was part of my costume. FML
Today, we didn't have much to do at work, so I struck up a conversation with a coworker I have a crush on - a girl with one arm. I wanted to tell her I thought she was pretty, but I ended up saying I thought she looked like a pirate queen. FML
Today, I'm at odds with my fiancée because a drunk girl approached me at a Halloween party and complimented my costume. I barely acknowledged the woman and made polite small talk until she walked away. Apparently, I was too friendly and should have shooed the woman away rudely and immediately. FML
Today, I finished making an awesome costume for a Halloween party my crush was attending. I then checked the invite and found out the party was last night. FML
Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML
Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML
Today, I went to my friend's costume party dressed as Michael Myers. My costume must've been too conspicuous because it drew violent attention. I'm still sore from the pushing, tackling, tripping, falling and body shots. FML
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Top comments
Mc2013 18
Ouch. You didn't know. Unless you made a horrible comment about her missing arm then she shouldn't take it to heart. Accidents happen.
MrSassypants 34
You're not an asshole if you feel bad for the mistake you made.
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Comments (53)
Makayla4415 20
Hey at least you admitted it...