Miscellaneous: Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day...

By JuicyJohn - 09/09/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 377

You deserved it 53 684

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/06/2009 17:55 - Canada

Today, I put on my "fat jeans" because none of my other jeans fit. Neither do my fat jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 889

You deserved it 46 629

By oops - 11/05/2015 16:40 - United States - Lutherville Timonium

Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 479

You deserved it 9 866

By Anonymous - 22/07/2016 17:19 - United States - Washington

Today, I had to deal with yet another day of people looking at my name tag and saying "You know nothing, John Snow." with a shit-eating grin, like they're the wittiest people alive. Then I had to deal with my boss telling me to lighten up, because it's "just a joke". FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 779

You deserved it 1 855

By Anonymous - 14/10/2009 03:25 - France

Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 571

You deserved it 13 885

By deucelututi - 31/05/2009 12:03 - United States

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 186

You deserved it 81 178

By FML - 30/08/2009 14:15 - United States

Today, I had to buy another pair of 'fat jeans', because my old 'fat jeans' became my new 'skinny jeans'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 286

You deserved it 58 958

By thefoolwhorippedhispants - 20/04/2018 01:30

Today, I came home from work to realize I had a massive rip in my shorts from my crotch to my crack. I have to lean over constantly in front of dozens of people at my job. Not one person said anything, but now I know why they were chuckling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 324

You deserved it 428

By Tomtom - 17/11/2008 05:04 - France

Today, I put on the same jeans that I had left in a bundle in my bedroom the day before. A few hours later, my boxer shorts decided to make their spectacular reappearance trick at the bottom of my leg in the middle of one of my meetings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 088

You deserved it 11 599

By xkellybabyyx - 25/11/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 902

You deserved it 40 656

By Sbfreak510 - 16/10/2009 16:30 - France

Today, I was in a hurry to get to work and I put on yesterday's jeans. While at my meeting an employee asked me if 'that' was mine and pointed to something on the floor next to me. Which was yesterday's underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 307

You deserved it 31 128

lolzRaptor 1

Wednesday 9 September 2009 9:29

Nice to meet you, Juicy.

redbluegreen 40

Wednesday 9 September 2009 9:33

Well, what else is your ass gonna say?

Comments

jaw709 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 17:40

So apparently everyone's wondering how this dude fit into tight-ass girl-sized shorts? Maybe he's got a collapsible pelvis and folds up like one of those Chinese paper fans. Or, perhaps he's emaciated. But, that probably wouldn't sell as well.

Cymbre9199 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 20:45

Lmao @ Juicy John. And yes it is kind of catchy haahahah =)

jook_fml 0

Friday 11 September 2009 1:09

Juicy John - Haha, it works!

06John09 0

Friday 11 September 2009 4:02

Hey man, if you got it, flaunt it. Sometimes a man wants to feel pretty.

X_totallysucks_X 0

Friday 11 September 2009 4:21

Wondering why there was a draft? Now you know.

equastriangirl 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 0:27

wtf how do you fit in juicy couture shorts and they are all short shorts so thier is no way you could mistake them for guys shorts

pixidust 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 0:29

my name is earl.

Myspace_fml 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 13:47

Hahaha how could you mistake suck girly shorts for guy shorts? xD

ISeeStarsBitchh 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 2:48

Win. Hahahahaaa.

jenius81 0

Monday 19 October 2009 4:10

must have been one hell of a hangover.

Keywords

Annoying Music Boredom Transportation Awkward Cars Embarrassing Family Babysitter Relatable Kids Thief Money Miscellaneous Food Gross Farts Health Depression Mental health Weird Creepy AITA Pregnancy Star Wars Social Media Facebook Wanker Work Bodyshaming

The Top

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636 651

You deserved it 798 153

Today, I learned that my husband “accidentally” let the dog out and allowed her to be eaten by an alligator because I got a male coworker, who is also a good friend of mine, a birthday present. We had an argument about our friendship, which apparently bothers him. I’d had that dog since I was a junior in high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 114

The Top

Today, I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk, so he had trouble getting it up, and I said jokingly, "You need to work on that." We fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said, "You need to work on not farting in your sleep." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 525

You deserved it 87 578

Today, my mom asked me if I was a lesbian because I haven't brought a guy home in over 7 years. Nope. I'm just a crazy cat lady, minus the cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 780

You deserved it 1 170

Today, my wife got mad at me for buying Raisin Bran without almonds. I offered to add confectionery sliced almonds, which we already had at home. Her response, “That’s not the same thing.” It is exactly the same thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 827

You deserved it 189

Today, as I sat on the table in my gynecologist's office for my yearly checkup, I realized that was the most action I got in the past year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 963

You deserved it 8 152

Today, my girlfriend canceled our date I've been looking forward to all week because her dog was having puppies. She doesn't have a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 397

You deserved it 3 285

Today, my husband cancelled our internet and cable package because we’re having money problems. I work from home and need the internet to do so. I guess getting a job of his own wasn’t an option. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 832

You deserved it 321

Same thing different taste

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