Today, I realised what kind of man I married when I finally shelved his book, "Getting Things Done", still untouched 3 months after buying it. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after 8 years and a house bought together, I realised I regret getting married. FML
Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML
Today, I found out my husband of 10 years has a online blog. Excited to read about myself, I began skimming, only to find out that every entry is him explaining how he let his "soulmate" walk away 9 years ago because of his "previous commitment" and how he regrets it every day. FML
Today, I shouted at my husband for buying a video game, saying that money wasted on his dumb childish bullshit could be spent on a nice vacation or date night. He quietly packed a bag and left. I'm getting the locks changed. Good riddance. FML
Today, I realised I may need to work on my marriage when I saw my husband in public, laughing and smiling with his coworkers, then when he saw me his smile disappeared and he stood up like a tired old man to come and speak to me. FML
Today, I found out that my husband read my journal behind my back when he got mad over something I'd written in it. This is the same journal that my therapist told me to keep, to help me get past my trust issues. FML
Today, I now accept how stupid I was to marry a man whose plans for the future all start with, "When I win the lottery…" FML
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, my husband moved out while I was out of town. The only thing of his he left behind was a copy of Paradise Lost. FML
Today, I learned how unhappy my husband is in our marriage. Apparently he also can't find a good woman. We didn't have a heart-to-heart, I read his woes in a blog. FML
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Top comments
muncherofice 19
You appeared to have married a man
gatorclay97 28
Bill gates once said he will only hire lazy people, so maybe he'll end up making a lot of money?
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Comments (32)
UnluckyGeek 10
Does he listen to Hello Internet by any chance?
anonymous7372628 3
Plot twist: op is Mrs. Haran
fordneagles 34
Mrs. Numberphile, you mean :P
crandel 11
Did you buy him the book? It's really better he doesn't read it anyway, because it'll just take time away from when he could be getting things done. Just a form of procrastination really.
johncanact 13
So you judge people based off of what books they have or have not read? Poor guy
Mike_Oxhard 14
I can't really give you any sympathy since it was your decision to marry him. Typically people get to know one another before marriage. Few exceptions exist depending on your religious beliefs.
TheCutestLizard 28
It's the thought that counts?
LadyLenore 14
He got it, because he knows he's a procrastinator... Though the irony seems to be lost on him, that he went to the trouble of buying it, but do nothing with it.
swimthenread27 19
I don't get what the big deal is. A lot of people are/get lazy. And you had to know what kind of person he was before you married him..
Sathane 21
Maybe he was too busy getting things done instead of reading a book about how to get things done.
FSGInsainity 15
At least he managed to buy the book? I wouldn't have even reached that point.
aeryn97 17
I've married his twin apparently! :p
emenesso 13
I don't really see the "FML" part of this... I've got heaps of books that I've bought and they are still in my queue of books to read, since I don't get a lot of time to read (mainly on my breaks at work). I can see the irony, but I don't think it's really an FML situation.