Today, I realised that my glade plug-in air freshner lasts longer than any of my relationships have. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
I stand accused
Today, I discovered my new plug-in air freshener smells exactly like my ex-boyfriend's cologne. My friends noticed this, and nobody will believe me when I say it smelled different on the scratch-and-sniff. Now I'm considered a creep. A nostalgic, obsessed creep. FML
Feu Orange
Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a car air freshener on his desk, because it "keeps my farts away from his air." FML
Fragrant
Today, I realized that I get turned on by my girlfriend's perfume. My mother started using the same one. FML
Been there before
Today, I'm so chronically sleep-deprived that I sprayed a bathroom air freshener under my arms instead of my deodorant. FML
Today, my love life is so pathetic that when I got a sample of cologne in the mail, I kept sniffing it just to remind myself what a guy smells like. FML
Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML
Today, I was trying to change the batteries of my automatic room freshener. As I held it to my face to figure out where the batteries went, it started spraying on my face. FML
Today, I was maced. Not by a person, but rather by one of those automatic air fresheners in the bathroom. It was conveniently placed at eye level, you know, for freshness. FML
Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML
Damn, son…
Today, my anger issues reached their worst after a horrible day at work. I kicked my girlfriend out of our apartment because I smelled another man's cologne when I came home. The "cologne" was a scented candle that she had burning while I was gone. FML
Top comments
PianoManGidley 0
Sometimes people just get the short end of the stick when it comes to getting into relationships. Sometimes, however, you yourself need to step back and analyze what YOU may doing wrong.
EcoDreamer 0
I doubt the OP is trying to "continue" a trend or was even aware there was a trend that their story fit into. Regardless, something happened to them (which I find to be pretty funny) and they felt bad enough to post it on here. Don't come here bashing him/her about their experience just because they happened to use a "tired" format. If there are so many of them they obviously work. If you want something new go out and have an FML happen to you, and then come back here and break the mold with your storytelling prowess.
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Comments (118)
rukusrazor 0
#6 - totally agree, but don't stop there. They are not just old, they are just plain ******* retarded. And I hold OP accountable. OP is continuing the trend. *YAWN*
genius_man16 1
realiZed i usually hate the grammar nazi's, but his FML is boring enough to warrant it
straww_fml 13
Realise - correct in the UK, Australia, Canada and most other english-speaking countries. Realize - recent American spelling. Is this hard to grasp for some people?
o76923 8
If you can't keep a relationship for the month and a half those things last, you're clearly doing something wrong. YDI
Lizzi_fml 10
How terrible. Agree with #6 and #11... the realizations are getting annoyingly repetitive.
Lazyninja420 0
Have you ever stopped to think that the only consistent thing in all your bad relationships is you?
poolshark 0
#12: Realization is only spelled with a z in the U.S. I usually hate the american/nonamerican version spelling nazis, but, as you said "this is boring enough to warrant it".
absurdliaisons 0
@12, http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/realised You're my favourite ever. OP: Grow a pair. Get a life. Whatever it takes to get these FMLs to stop getting through.
penizulaface 0
12, sorry to be a grammar nazi but in the uk we spell it with an s.
EcoDreamer 0
I doubt the OP is trying to "continue" a trend or was even aware there was a trend that their story fit into. Regardless, something happened to them (which I find to be pretty funny) and they felt bad enough to post it on here. Don't come here bashing him/her about their experience just because they happened to use a "tired" format. If there are so many of them they obviously work. If you want something new go out and have an FML happen to you, and then come back here and break the mold with your storytelling prowess.
anachronous 0
#12 America is not the world.