By CrazyInLove - 10/03/2015 06:02 - United States - Castle Rock

Today, I overcame my lack of social confidence and got a date for the first time in 10 or so years. After a while, my date admitted that she's a schizophrenic with dissociative identity disorder. I guess it's back to being single. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 369
You deserved it 7 348

Same thing different taste

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From someone who has extreme panic attack disorder, OCD and crippling depression, this intensifies my worry that I'll be alone forever. I feel sorry for her, to be honest. That was probably really hard for her to do.

Because obviously we should immediately discount the possibility of dating anyone with a mental illness, right? Or should she have just lied to you about it for a while first? It was probably incredibly difficult for her to be upfront about having such a stigmatized medical condition. If you choose not to get involved thats your prerogative, but I hope you handled it tactfully at least. If you think it's hard for you to get a date, imagine how she must feel.

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khoov19 20

no dude both #1 & #11 are both right. if youve never been with someone like that then you cant really comment.I can say from experience yes it can be problematic at times but the rest of the time you will never feel as loved or wanted. but I digress the bad times are shall we say maybe more than you could bargain for.

danceinconverse 25

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Actually 57, dissociative identity disorder is "multi personality disorder". Get your facts straight before you try "correcting" someone.

nice try #57, but yeah know your facts first before typing anything

#61 get your facts right. Multiple personality disorder has never been proven and is not a diagnosis. Dissociative disorder means that the person separates themselves from the situation and feels like they are outside of themselves. Before you tell me to get my facts straight my PSYCHOLOGY DEGREE from a 4 year university qualifies me to say this.

knoxxx 22

It's seems you didn't learn very much in your 4 years because dissociative identity disorder *used* to be called multiple personality disorder. It is the same thing.

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you do realize that there's no such thing as normal? I have bipolar, depression, anxiety, and ocd. for me, that's normal. the next person might have something else. that's normal for them. everybody has something wrong with them. if everyone just went to the next one, no one would be in a relationship. ever!

More normal? Seriously? My boyfriend is bi-polar and has scizoeffects disorder. Hes the most loving caring boyfriend I've had. No one is normal so please keep your judgemental prick comments to yourself.

Here come the hyper offended PC warriors...

#2 - My ex-girlfriend was a schizophrenic with dissociative identity disorder. Unless she told you, you would've never known. There were only vague hints that would distinguish her being fine and having hallucinations, like staring 'past' you while in a conversation, slightly slower speech, etc., and personality switches were very rare because of the comfort in our relationship. I only saw them three times total over the course of a two-year period. These people can and do live normal lives. They have a bad rap because we portray them as crazies since it's exciting and scary, but truthfully, that's just how their brain operates. It doesn't impact their everyday lives unless they're unmedicated or have a more severe case. OP, I hope you give her a chance. It's already scary enough to have somebody reject you over things you can control, and much more scary for things you can't. I think you'd find a quirky and light-hearted person underneath the cover that you judged.

this guy is probably so confused... he was just being nice guys, stop getting butt hurt

From someone who has extreme panic attack disorder, OCD and crippling depression, this intensifies my worry that I'll be alone forever. I feel sorry for her, to be honest. That was probably really hard for her to do.

you won't. I have just about the same going on with me and I have a husband and two kids.it's rough for him to deal with but he loves us..just gotta find a good man!!

But would a woman go for a chronically depressed man? I don't think so. :/

agreed. at least she was upfront wirh op

exaclty what i was thinking #3. that OP would rather be single than date this woman (who's probably absolutely lovely) and then ask for our pity disgusts me. mental disorders =/= broken! we are as loveable and as worthy of love as anyone else!!!

Yup! I'm married to a chronically depressed veteran who's also suffering from ptsd. It ain't easy, but he's the love of my life, and his mental state has never even made me doubt about being with him.

I think it depends on whether or not OP feels like he can handle it. People with mental disorders can be just as loving and wonderful as anyone else, but if you're not the type of person who can put in a little extra love, effort and patience to be understanding, you'll probably end up running from the relationship later. If OP already has his own problems he hasn't dealt with and knows he doesn't have the type of character (at least at that time) to be supportive, I can see why he wouldn't want to start a relationship. Imo it would be more irresponsible of him to flippantly start a relationship with someone just cause he wants a girl's company, when he already knows he doesn't have the strength to help and support her long-term. However I do agree that if he can't deal with it, then he shouldn't be on here complaining... the way he wrote it also seemed a bit douchy. Everyone has their problems and if he isn't willing to even try to understand someone who honestly opened up to him, he should maybe be single a little longer and work on his own character.

The love of my life has DID, but he chose to end our relationship because his other self wants to hurt me and he didn't want to put me in harm's way. OP is an asshole.

The love of my life has DID, but he chose to end our relationship because his other self wants to hurt me and he didn't want to put me in harm's way. Too many people are uneducated about mental disorders.

I have many problems; schizophrenia, mood swings,(not bad enough to be bipolar disorder though) anxiety, depression, PTSD and trichotillomania. I have a an amazing girlfriend, she doesn't have any problems like mine but she's very supportive. I'm also a transman which makes our relationship a little harder but we love each other very much. It's a great relationship

Suaria 38

My boyfriend and I are both clinically depressed. We both love and support each other. He has cried in front of me and I do not see it as a flaw in his character. He is one of the nicest people I know and I really couldn't ask for a better boyfriend.

Yup, my sympathy is with the girl here, not with OP.

Hey #3, don't lose hope! I have the same issues. I know I can't tell you that it will all be okay because I know how difficult it is some days to deal with things that life throws at you. But I can tell you that it isn't a lost cause. With that being said, I agree with #74. It can be very difficult to give someone with mental health problems the proper love and affection they need, especially if you yourself have problems. But it definitely could have been worded better because OP sounded pretty harsh and judgemental.

I bet you are a lovely person, and you don't need myself or anyone else to tell you that :)

I'm not a fan of the word "admitted" in there. Everyone has their quirks, and while she can be open about it, I think there are likely far fewer problems than you think. It's when people won't seek help or treatment for their disorders that problems start. I'm not butt hurt. I just think it's pretty harsh to judge someone on an illness before you even really get to know them.

I have an extreme anxiety disorder that makes me hyperventilate to the point of passing out and anytime I suddenly lose consciousness my body goes into shock and I have a seizure. My boyfriend and I have been together almost two years now and he's seen it happen to me a couple times, I can promise you won't always be alone. You just have to find the right person :)

trust me #3, if you communicate with a partner and you love each other and work through each other's flaws and disorders, it can work. We just have to fight a little harder, fight the stigma, communicate and forgive each other and ourselves when we have episodes and problems. my partner and i fought hard to be happy and work with my bipolar and other problems, and in turn i fought through his and you can do the same with someone. (: keep fighting.

Talk about two in one ;) she should at least get points for honesty

Yeesh, this may not be the right person for you, but way to stigmatize people with mental health issues.

If you know its not gonna work, then theres no sense trying to force it, just beccause they might have some problems. The last thing a person like that needs is a relationship based on pity

Would you stay with a person who is prone to being batshit crazy just because they couldn't help it

Plus, op knows he has a lot of issues with his anxiety and stuff and he probably figures that going into a relationship where his girlfriend also has major issues isn't a great idea. There's nothing wrong with admitting you're not the person to handle something like that. It doesn't mean that someone else won't be, it just means that that situation wouldn't be good for op.

Yes, I would, #28. Because love is about sacrifice, and being there for one another. Love does not see mental disorders, appearances, or anything like that. Love is beautiful and pure, and anyone who only cares about how you look, or stuff like that, does not deserve love. I agree, maybe OP isn't strong enough to handle the mental illness, but when you give up or move on, just because you don't want to be with a "broken" person, well, I'd say you're more broken than they are.

This is not how schizophrenia and DID work. Most people with these problems are on medications that keep them balanced and even not on meds this isn't how these mental health problems work. I would rather live up to the challenge of loving someone with these issues than be with someone as small minded as you.

Agree. It takes a certain type of person to be able to cope and overcome certain things (said as someone with bipolar and other issues and a boyfriend who loves me after several exes couldn't cope which is fine) but the OP was needlessly rude. There is a difference between being incompatible and stigmatising mental illness. Maybe OP should find out more info before outright dismissing the person as crazy or unsaleable. Same for some of the horrific comments.

Because obviously we should immediately discount the possibility of dating anyone with a mental illness, right? Or should she have just lied to you about it for a while first? It was probably incredibly difficult for her to be upfront about having such a stigmatized medical condition. If you choose not to get involved thats your prerogative, but I hope you handled it tactfully at least. If you think it's hard for you to get a date, imagine how she must feel.

Yeah. Gotta say, if that's the way you treat someone you don't want to continue dating, I'm not surprised you're single OP.

150493x 29

You overcame your lack of confidence. That's always something to be positive about.

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I use to work with the mentally ill. and I can say that honestly what you did is nothing new...but not good. judging people like that is wrong. If she admitted it. She knows there's a problem. Therefore she's probably on medication and in counseling. If she's being honest, then said medication is working or helping a great deal. Just for future reference.

I feel worse for her than I do for you, OP. FHL