Today, I opened a window that had been shut for a couple of months. As soon as I did, dozens of tiny baby spiders blew in with the breeze, and dispersed in my kitchen. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I decided to bring down a very old fan from the attic. I plugged it in, and as soon as I turned it on, tiny spiders were blown all over my room. FML
Today, after having a 3-day vacation and feeling a bit bummed that it was over, I got home to find a black widow watching her babies hatch in my office window. FML
Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML
Today, I got up and started getting ready for work. As I entered the bathroom, I noticed a moth in the shower. Feeling generous, I caught the moth in a cup and took it to the front porch. I released the moth and watched it fly away… into a giant spider and its web. FML
Today, I was going to set up my air conditioner in the window. As I opened up the window, I must have disturbed a wasp nest, because a dozen wasps flew in and several of them stung me. The rest are now somewhere in my house with my terrified girlfriend. FML
Today, I noticed a little white ball in the corner of my bedroom ceiling. I guess it had been there for a while already, but the teeming mass of baby spiders crawling out made it a lot more conspicuous. FML
Today, some spider must have had babies somewhere in the walls, because every five minutes I seem to find yet another spider on my ceiling, in my cupboards, under the furniture, everywhere. I’m so fed up of smashing them, I’m thinking of getting the house fumigated. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I saw a moth trapped in a spider web. Feeling gracious, I gently freed it, and then took it to the window to let it out. When I opened the window to set him free, my $300 air conditioner fell two stories and smashed on the sidewalk. The moth flew away. FML
Today, the spiders in my house are so big that they catch wasps in their webs. FML
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Top comments
SalsaVerdeDonut 22
I'll bring the gasoline. You just bring the matches.
MagnusDeus 24
Nope
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Comments (94)
wildstyle2007 8
good thing there's a drought, cause you need to burn that f#cker down!
godzilllla 12
Leave. Leave and never come back.
chelseabellsey 15
Well shit....
venomousflower 24
Burn. The. House. Down. Immediately.
abby1212 27
Time to burn the house down.
Xx_dankdoge_xX 18
Time to call your realtor
fmlperson8264 16
I hope they aren't venomous.
ashcat12 9
Burn it with fire.
royalyue 7
Time to nuke the house.
False_Stupidity 42
I say we nuke the site, from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.