Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my cat got his head stuck in the handle of a plastic bag while snooping. Unfortunately, it was the bag I use to put his turds in after scooping them from the litter tray. With the bag trapped around his neck, he got spooked, then ran around the house, spreading turds from the bag as he fled. FML
Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML
Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML
Today, my cat wouldn't stop attacking the strings on my pants, and I couldn't get him to stop. However, he did finally stop when he missed the strings and grabbed me by the dick, because I accidentally kicked him across the room when he did. FML
Today, I came home to find that my sweet kitten had gotten out and dragged a bird inside, where he ripped it to shreds. I found the bird's head in my underwear drawer. FML
Today, I realized I'm missing my diamond earrings. After ripping apart the vacuum bag and exhausting all other options I'm pretty sure my new cat ate them. I'm going to go sift through several days worth of cat shit now. FML
Today, I watched as my poor old cat dragged his ass across our living room carpet, leaving an equally long shit stain on our pristine carpet. My pleas for him to stop only made his diarrhea worse as he ran off. FML
Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML
Today, I saw my cat playing with one of his many toy mice. Knowing he likes to play fetch, I picked it up and threw it across the room. Upon trying to pick it up a second time, I realized that not only was it not a toy, but it was only half-dead. FML
Today, my cat had a long dingleberry hanging off his butt. He decided the best way to get rid of it was to freak out and run around the house, shaking shit everywhere. To make it worse, he then licked his still shit covered butt, made a face and promptly threw up. Guess my cat isn’t the brightest. FML
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Top comments
ChasinParkedCars 0
Nothing like pleasuring your pussy.
redbluegreen 40
What is it with animals, their rectums and this site? Time to break out the awkward turtle.
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Comments (208)
zBOB0 0
rofl, u have a gay cat
Sokai_fml 0
My dog did that once, only it was hair and much shorter, so I know that couldn't have been much fun. xD;
Brettersson 0
that happened with my dog when she ate a plastic bag, which was just hanging out her ass
_PurpleLove_ 0
Happened to my dog during his first christmas at our house except it was tinsel. That dog just licked it off the ground and strands just hung out of his butt. We haven't used tinsel on our tree since.. and he's going on strong 14 years.
amatthew_03 0
That. Is. *******. Hilarious.
stephsteph90 0
you're an idiot. you're so lucky you didn't kill your cat. always take your cat to the vet if this happens. otherwise you can rip through their intestine.
Cittenscollar 0
Be more careful with string - if cats ingest it it can be extremely life threatening. Your cat's lucky. And yeah, next time take kitty to the vet. Also, cats purr for many reasons, not just out of happiness. It's a comfort thing, and your cat was likely purring because he was trying to make himself feel better about the extreme discomfort he was in.
Amortifiedperson 0
Um cats don't just purr when they are content they also purr when they are pain. Humans who have been exposed to similar sounds are shown to have thicker bone density than regular.
funk49 0
I was thinking "Lame FML" until the last part. ehl-oh-ehl
AiEnmaSan 0
The whole purring thing is natural. Alot of people don't realize that cats purr to comfort themselves. Your cat was probably in pain, seeing as a kite was being tugged out of its ass. Purring was just a way to make it more tolerable. Other than that... FYL ._.