Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my paternal grandparents for the first time, since my dad was never in my life and my mom wouldn’t talk about him. According to them, I have at least 28 other siblings from him, and who knows how many that haven’t come forward. No wonder my mom always hated him. FML
Today, at age 23, I met my absentee father. He went on about how much he missed me and wanted to know more about me. He then asked if I knew where he could get some good weed, and said he'd share it to make up for all the missed birthdays and Christmases. FML
Today, like every other month, I accompanied my paternal grandfather to visit his doctor who's as old as he is, and whom I never spoke to ever. As I waited outside, for the first time ever, grandpa had me come in to meet his doctor. The very moment I stepped into his office, he greeted me with a, "He's obese!" FML
Today, my father contacted me for the first time in close to 2 months. The first thing he did was ask if I wanted to buy some weed. FML
Today, I found out that the man I called grandpa for 40 years is really my dad. My drunk aunt spilled the beans. Her exact words were, "My dad is a better dad to you than he EVER was to me! You never wondered why he treated you better than his other grandchildren? You're his son!" FML
Today, I met my biological father for the first time. He seemed to be slightly intoxicated from the outset, and less than half an hour later, he had tried to intimidate me into "loaning" him several hundred euros for reasons he wouldn't tell me. So long, "dad". FML
Today, I finally let my parents meet a boyfriend of mine for the first time ever. My dad mentioned how he was happy to finally meet him, because for the past 4 years he'd thought I was gay. FML
Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML
Today, my dad's cremated remains came in the mail. This is the first time in my entire adult life that he has visited me at my home. FML
Today, I got the guts to call my dad for the first time in nine years. He said he "almost didn't remember" he "had another daughter." Another? FML
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Top comments
betsymonty 0
It obviously didn't mean that much to him. I've learned that blood relationships don't mean as much as the relationships you've chosen to have.
BannedDistress78 0
how big is your 'rack?'
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Comments (143)
MissNae 0
@21- Paternal means on your fathers side, I think you have it confused with biological. OP - One way to look at it is FYL, but on the other hand YAY! you didn't grow up with a pervy Granddad.
forallitsworth 0
Hence that means your parents had better judgement.
TheLittlestNinja 0
im sorry miss
mattmag 0
#2 couldn't be more right. Just because you're family, it doesn't mean you have to like them.
kurohana_fml 0
I call BS. I've heard the same "joke" several times on several websites, starting quite a few years ago. Are you so desperate to get attention that you have to post here? Pathetic.
imagineyesterday 0
@ 28 and 30, I'm not sure that telling someone they have a nice rack is how you'd treat a stranger. :P Honestly, I think if you said that to strangers you'd get yourself sued.
mcbeth 0
this would've been awesome if it ended, "I'm a dude."
Tucatz 0
This may explain why you had never met him before. He sounds like a prize twat.
pinkducttape 0
well now you know...he could have at least tried to be polite. at least you gave him a chance.
leMeepO_o 0
What the ****. What a jerk I'm so sorry, but don't worry about it. It's his problem, yours!