Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I met my paternal grandparents for the first time, since my dad was never in my life and my mom wouldn’t talk about him. According to them, I have at least 28 other siblings from him, and who knows how many that haven’t come forward. No wonder my mom always hated him. FML
Today, at age 23, I met my absentee father. He went on about how much he missed me and wanted to know more about me. He then asked if I knew where he could get some good weed, and said he'd share it to make up for all the missed birthdays and Christmases. FML
Today, like every other month, I accompanied my paternal grandfather to visit his doctor who's as old as he is, and whom I never spoke to ever. As I waited outside, for the first time ever, grandpa had me come in to meet his doctor. The very moment I stepped into his office, he greeted me with a, "He's obese!" FML
Today, my father contacted me for the first time in close to 2 months. The first thing he did was ask if I wanted to buy some weed. FML
Today, I found out that the man I called grandpa for 40 years is really my dad. My drunk aunt spilled the beans. Her exact words were, "My dad is a better dad to you than he EVER was to me! You never wondered why he treated you better than his other grandchildren? You're his son!" FML
Today, I met my biological father for the first time. He seemed to be slightly intoxicated from the outset, and less than half an hour later, he had tried to intimidate me into "loaning" him several hundred euros for reasons he wouldn't tell me. So long, "dad". FML
Today, I finally let my parents meet a boyfriend of mine for the first time ever. My dad mentioned how he was happy to finally meet him, because for the past 4 years he'd thought I was gay. FML
Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML
Today, my dad's cremated remains came in the mail. This is the first time in my entire adult life that he has visited me at my home. FML
Today, I got the guts to call my dad for the first time in nine years. He said he "almost didn't remember" he "had another daughter." Another? FML
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Top comments
betsymonty 0
It obviously didn't mean that much to him. I've learned that blood relationships don't mean as much as the relationships you've chosen to have.
BannedDistress78 0
how big is your 'rack?'
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Comments (143)
_anonymoose_ 0
doesn't he know that it's perverted to say that to your grandchild?
sandy_fml 0
Thats the funniest f*ing thing ever. Where'd you find him, in prison?
wellesleybanana 0
giggity
Sportsfreak2034 0
wow, what an ass
Oriina 0
Well, dear, that's probably the reason you haven't met him previously. Really, I'm sorry to hear that, though.
Sessee 4
My grandpa raped an eleven year old. I win.
neverland_fml 0
Bad draw. Bad luck of the draw. Sorry, hun. He's a creeper and will probably try to touch you so just, let him go. You tried and he failed you, not the other way around.
heeystefi_fml 0
lol uhh 88,thats nothing to brag about
SirAndrew 0
That grandpa sounds awesome.
cucuto89 0
GRandpas are srs bsnss