Today, I'm staying with my in-laws. My husband is fighting with... - FML

By Thanksalot - 30/11/2013 05:58 - United States - Edinburg

Today, I'm staying with my in-laws. My husband is fighting with his dad, who's fighting with his brother-in-law, who's fighting with his wife. The only ones not fighting are my sister-in-law and her boyfriend, who're getting along great on a squeaky mattress in the room next to mine. FML

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Proactive

This is fine

Lockdown is driving us down

By coolbeans123 - 10/5/2011 16:37 - Singapore

Today, my dad texted me while I was in school saying, "Your cat vomited. Covered it up with a bowl so you can clean it when you come home." FML

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By You Wish - 7/3/2009 07:35 - United States

Today, I was sitting on my 70 year old grandmothers bed with my older brother. I decided to snoop through the cabinet at the back of her bed, and I pulled out what I naively thought was a strange looking flashlight. When I twisted the bottom of it to see what would happen it started vibrating. FML

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By HttpsHaileyy - 15/6/2015 20:02 - United States

Today, I insulted my younger sister's hamster. She then smashed me with a stool. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/11/2009 23:26 - United States

Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML

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By jaybob18 - 17/6/2011 06:07 - United States

Today, I finally used the statistics book that I forked out $120 to buy. To kill an ant. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/5/2012 22:35 - Italy - Milan

Today, I finally summed up the courage to break up with my abusively controlling girlfriend. I don't know what I was thinking, but instead of leaving as a free man, I left as an engaged one. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/1/2015 07:57 - United States - Houston

Today, at dinner, my downstair's neighbors described how they can listen to most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew it is not my phone that vibrates at that time. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/5/2009 01:09 - United States

Today, at exactly midnight, I get a text from my boyfriend saying we were done. I had just seen him 4 hours ago when we were out celebrating my birthday, and asked why he didnt just tell me then. He replies 'I couldn't break up with you on your birthday but i wanted it to be over ASAP' FML

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By Anonymous - 16/3/2013 06:19 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend, when my upstairs neighbor decided to take the longest piss known to man. He moaned the entire time. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/11/2014 00:11 - United States - Macungie

Today, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me via Facebook chat. When I asked her why, she replied "You know why." and blocked me. No, I don't know. FML

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By AnonWife - 22/1/2014 01:16 - United Kingdom - Scunthorpe

Today, my husband and I are sick. He keeps whining about how bad he feels. I'm just as sick, as well as 7 months pregnant. I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked, cleaned, and gone to the store several times because the tissues we had were too rough on his nose. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/8/2009 23:42 - United States

Today, at a family gathering, my aunt asked me when I was planning to have children. I'm only 16, I laughed and said not for a while, definitely not until I get married. My family shook their heads, and ignored me for the rest of the day. Apparently, teenage pregnancy is valued in my family. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/11/2015 17:36 - United States - Show Low

Today, I picked up an elderly woman walking alone in the cold. I asked her where she was going but she didn't respond. Thinking she was just cold, I kept driving until a man driving erratically kept honking at me. Turns out he's her husband and she has severe Alzheimers. FML

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By miss Suzanne - 14/9/2010 21:46 - United States

Today, I got a brand new couch. My husband told me to keep our puppy off of it so we could keep it nice. She jumped on it, and as I picked her up to put her back on the floor, her claws dragged across it and ripped 2 of the cushions. FML

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By SNBBFF - 25/10/2011 07:10 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. We had a huge family dinner and everyone was invited, including my boyfriend. My family is kind of stuck-up, so I was very nervous about him meeting them. He got into an argument with my uncle over how "awesome" Van Halen is, and ignored me all night. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/1/2010 00:06 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriends mother for the first time and hoped to make a good first impression. When I tried to say 'Hello', a loud rippling burp comes up from my throat. And not only that. A small chunk of mucus flies out and lands on the floor between us. So much for a good first impression. FML

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By shastadoe - 6/8/2012 06:37 - United States - Los Banos

Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML

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By divorcee - 6/9/2012 03:27 - Canada - Saint Albert

Today, I got back to work. Last week, my divorce was finalized and my last name is, once again, my maiden name. Since I'm a teacher, all my students will remember me by my ex-husband's last name. I get to be reminded every day that my marriage failed until everyone memorizes my maiden name. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/3/2017 22:00

Today, while I was doing my job as a groundskeeper, a couple of kids wearing MAGA hats threw garbage and rocks at me, then told me to "go back where you came from". I'm American, but I guess my beard makes me look like an immigrant or something, as this isn't the first time this has happened. FML

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By Walker - 4/11/2009 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my parents, who are divorced, were arguing over who has to pay for my bus pass. They decided they wouldn't pay unless the other one did too. Neither will pay the £60 it'll cost for my bus pass. I now have to walk to school every day, in freezing winter weather. It's 9 miles. Each way. FML

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By Bride to be - 19/5/2017 10:00 - United States - Dayton

Today, after religiously eating healthy, getting good sleep, and trying to keep my stress level low, I'm stuck in bed with aches, fever, sore throat, the shits and throwing up. My wedding is in 2 days. FML

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By love_today - 30/5/2010 02:36 - Canada

Today, I got called a f***ing b**ch by one of my students. I teach kindergarten. FML

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By Titi14 - 4/3/2010 03:19 - United States

Today, my best friend decided she wanted to tell my boyfriend about the time I pissed myself laughing at her house. When she was telling the story I ended up laughing so hard, that I pissed myself again. FML

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By idk - 4/9/2015 14:15 - United Arab Emirates - Dubai

Today, I was getting ready to go out with my family. As I was putting my phone in my purse, my father told me I wouldn't need it because we were going to spend 'quality time' together. The entire time I was there, everyone was staring at their phone. I was the only one without one. FML

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By why?! - 10/9/2011 01:57 - United States

Today, my mom baked cupcakes for my visiting grandparents. Later, I saw my grandpa chowing down on them. Even later, my mom demanded to know why there were a dozen cupcake wrappers on my bed. I've essentially been framed by my own grandpa, and am now grounded for a month. FML

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By oops - 19/11/2014 17:03 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML

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By Anonymous - 31/7/2013 23:19 - United Kingdom - Falkirk

Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML

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By ScaryOldMan - 7/10/2009 07:57 - United States

Today, while trying to sleep, I kept hearing this groan/scream for help for about an hour. I decided to call 911 to send someone to investigate. Police came, I received a $100 parking fine and another citation for improper use of 911. The noise? Just a dog howling. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/2/2015 18:23 - United States - Cheyenne

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

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By gassy - 7/1/2013 15:40 - United States - Aubrey

Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML

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By Rejected. - 22/11/2009 17:49 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend of one year when an attractive girl walks over. She asks him, "Is this your girlfriend?" He replied "That depends... are you single?" FML

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By stupidupid - 6/2/2010 12:35 - Philippines

Today, we had a NAT for our preparation for college. I did quite well and knew most of the answers. When I turned mine in, I realised I forgot to write my name. The proctor doesn't allow giving back test papers after it is turned in. And no, I can't retake it. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/1/2015 14:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

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By corfan01 - 5/10/2009 11:11 - United States

Today, I got a red light camera ticket for $100 in the mail. After checking the date and time, I realized it was from when I was rear ended into the intersection while STOPPED at a red light. FML

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By burgerpants - 8/5/2018 19:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was feeling down so I thought I'd order a burger to cheer myself up. The website I ordered from featured Instagram pics of their customers. My ex and the guy she cheated on me with were front and center. FML

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By Oh hello there - 17/6/2018 01:30

Today, I accidentally left my Nintendo 3DS at the barbershop, so I rushed back to get it. The 60-year-old barber had destroyed it with a hammer, saying it was a weapon of the devil. I was gone 5 minutes. FML

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By lk26 - 8/2/2009 05:32 - United States

Today, I went to my car to discover a note on the windshield from the city telling me that they had hit my car. On top of that note was a parking ticket, also from the city. FML

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By soon to be unemployed - 28/1/2014 22:36 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, my boss let me know that I'm being laid off, via a text message that ended in "lmao". FML

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By whatisthisidonteven - 23/9/2012 09:23 - Israel - Ramat Gan

Today, I was scheduled for an interview at a local firm owned by two partners. The secretary told me to be there at around 12:00 to 12:30 pm, so I arrived at 12:15. The first boss told me off for being early, the other one yelled at me for being late. FML

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By crapgirl - 18/4/2009 23:11 - United States

Today, I discovered the worst possible situation in which to get explosive diarrhea: on a 9-hour transatlantic flight. Next to an attractive single guy. FML

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Top comments

By traviscool | 12

#5773161 - Saturday 30 November 2013 12:00

it could be worse, you could be properly related

By vewwe | 20

#5773165 - Saturday 30 November 2013 12:03

Maybe it's time for you to go and fight with your sister-in-law and her boyfriend? At least you will get some sleep then

COMMENTS

By pdp_fml | 21

#5773160 - Saturday 30 November 2013 11:59

Happy days are here again! I feel sorry that most of your in-laws are fighting.

Reply

CarbonCoach | 11

#5773168 - Saturday 30 November 2013 12:11

What started this fighting? Is it the silent treatment fighting or if her hausbsnd sees his dad hes going to punch him?

Reply

Eahae3 | 12

#5773407 - Saturday 30 November 2013 18:14

Very noisy lol.

By traviscool | 12

#5773161 - Saturday 30 November 2013 12:00

it could be worse, you could be properly related

By Ashamed_Sister | 60

#5773162 - Saturday 30 November 2013 12:02

Just an average family...

By fleur_de_fevrier_fml | 22

#5773163 - Saturday 30 November 2013 12:02

Time to get out of there OP and maybe get a motel. You shouldn't have to be put in this stressful environment just because it's your husband's family. That's not fair on you.

Reply

legalizenow | 16

#5773172 - Saturday 30 November 2013 12:18

They're married, so, it isn't unfair. They are one family.

Reply

fsomelife | 26

#5773204 - Saturday 30 November 2013 13:04

To be fair, she married him, not his family. I'm all for solidarity and a good relationship with the relatives, but there are different situations, in many families it's impossible to get along.

Reply

Flowtastic | 16

#5773213 - Saturday 30 November 2013 13:17

24 - to also be fair she did willingly take the journey to the in-laws with him as well to be put in that environment. ;)

By vewwe | 20

#5773165 - Saturday 30 November 2013 12:03

Maybe it's time for you to go and fight with your sister-in-law and her boyfriend? At least you will get some sleep then

Reply

XDsmileyDX_fml | 24

#5773166 - Saturday 30 November 2013 12:06

Or propose a three-some... If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Reply

perdix | 29

#5773241 - Saturday 30 November 2013 15:30

#6, I agree, the OP can get in some "sexy time" and a hole new series of fights can begin.

Reply

Horsempeg | 25

#5773251 - Saturday 30 November 2013 15:58

Just goes to show ya, marriage isn't always the way!
Clearly her sister-in-law is happier with her boyfriend!

Reply

parism143 | 28

#5773384 - Saturday 30 November 2013 17:51

Just because she slept with him doesn't necessarily mean she'll leave her husband for him.
It's sex, not anything serious.

Reply

YourBatteryIsLow | 8

#5773452 - Saturday 30 November 2013 19:11

#39 Who says OPs sister in law is married? It is probably OPs husbands sister, and nowhere in the FML does it say she is married.

Reply

swaggalikethat | 22

#5773751 - Saturday 30 November 2013 23:32

Or maybe Op's sister in law was fighting her boyfriend. Op just couldn't hear the muffled screams over the squeaky mattress.

By CarbonCoach | 11

#5773167 - Saturday 30 November 2013 12:08

I'm really confused. I think I half get it though... So what are they all fighting about? What's the center point?!

By underthesea12 | 24

#5773169 - Saturday 30 November 2013 12:12

start a fight with the love birds

By HortonThelephant | 15

#5773173 - Saturday 30 November 2013 12:18

I think its probably safe to assume we know what kind of pie the boyfriend ate that night for Thanksgiving.

Reply

BillMurray_fml | 12

#5773245 - Saturday 30 November 2013 15:52

Pumpkin?

By Not_Impressed13 | 9

#5773176 - Saturday 30 November 2013 12:20

Isn't it wonderful how holidays bring families together?

By WordAficionada | 19

#5773177 - Saturday 30 November 2013 12:23

Family feuds during holiday season are pretty common I guess, good luck though.