Today, I let my mother use my computer for school work. Later... - FML

By artiemilano - 15/10/2009 19:42 - United States

Today, I let my mother use my computer for school work. Later that day my mom asks me what's wrong with the computer. I look at it, only seeing a "Welcome to Windows XP" screen. She said that she saw a blue screen and pressed L and C when it asked her to. My mom managed to clear my hard drive. FML

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Dangling modifier

Who's a good boy?

Peaky Bladders

By definitelynotugly - 2/12/2018 12:00

Today, I had a morning shift at the restaurant and didn't feel like wearing makeup. I was energetic and greeted everyone happily, but my manager told me I looked tired. I said, "Oh no I'm just not wearing makeup!" He said, "Well, you might need it." FML

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By Noname - 26/2/2009 17:49 - United States

Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend across the street. I was walking with a girl whom I'd been hooking up with and wanted to make my ex-girlfriend jealous. I kissed her and she immediately smacked me. I got a "ha-ha" text message from my ex. FML

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By Annoyed - 28/10/2011 20:25 - United States

Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she bought the same perfume that my boyfriend got me for Christmas last year. He loves that perfume. Now, whenever he smells me, he's going to think of his mom. FML

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By mama bear - 16/10/2019 18:00

Call the Midwife-slash-Locksmith

Today, my one-year-old son locked me out of the house. I had no spare key and both him and my 4-month-old decided that was the perfect time to scream bloody murder. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/3/2014 08:30 - Australia

Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while. I swear I couldn't help it when the words "Wow, I bet you really regret that haircut." came out of my mouth. FML

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By Childhood - 12/12/2009 03:12 - United States

Today, I went to my little cousin's school to pick her up and it happened to be my old elementary school. I saw my old teacher and went up to say hi, and after a few minutes she goes "Aren't you the girl who's dad always came in drunk on parent's day?" Nice to know that's how I'm remembered. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/8/2019 02:01

Today, I was at work serving customers at the checkout. A girl was brushing the floor behind me. I turned around and whichever way she brushed, the brush hit me twice straight in the balls before she noticed anything. She had to serve the rest of the customers while I recovered. FML

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By WithoutLove - 30/8/2011 05:20 - United States

Today, I realized the closest thing I have to a love life is organizing my porn folder by category. FML

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By Tcake - 19/5/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, I was drying off with a towel after coming in from outside. I noticed that the bathroom smelled like cat pee, so I sniffed all around to find out where my cat peed. Turns out, he peed on the towel that I was drying myself off with. FML

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By captainlame - 21/3/2013 05:59 - United States

Today, I returned from a 5-day cruise for my senior spring break, filled with gorgeous sorority girls from all over the country. I was seasick the whole time. FML

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By oicwydt - 31/1/2009 23:25 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me to go to a car show. I told him to hold on, I had to ask my mom. I quietly asked her to say no for me. She said "Sure!". FML

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By Anonymous - 8/4/2017 12:00

Today, I was cleaning the litter box and found a large clump. I later found my 3-year-old peeing there instead of in the toilet. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/4/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I received my new cell phone and activated my account. As part of the package, I get to choose five numbers that I can call without using any minutes. I could still only think of three numbers I call regularly: my parent's house, my mom's cell and my ex's cell. FML

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By Jonnyboo - 29/8/2009 12:13 - United States

Today, I found out I was getting a new bed for my room. Then find out it was my great-grandmother's. The one she died in. FML

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By harambae - 11/9/2016 17:10 - United States - La Grange

Today, I accidentally mooed during sex. FML

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By miabun - 14/2/2017 06:02 - United States - Breinigsville

Cling Alert

Today, my boyfriend has helicopter parents. He offered to take me out on a date for Valentine's Day, but there's one condition: his mother has to be there the whole time. He's 17 years old. FML

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By CRC - 23/11/2011 15:38 - United States

Today, a freshman set off the fire alarm in my dorm at 2 a.m. He tried to microwave Easy Mac without adding water. I had to stand outside for 45 minutes while the firemen moved the noodles to the sink and ran cold water over them. FML

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By littlebigbrother - 23/5/2012 06:13 - Japan

Today, we got a call that my brother stuck a rock up his nose and couldn't get it out. My mom had to pick him up and take him to the hospital. My brother is 20. FML

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By HardTimes - 2/6/2019 20:00

Today, I came home from three months off the continent. My parents drove me home, and when we drove past our house, I assumed we were going for a welcome home supper. Instead, we drove to a dilapidated trailer and my parents said, "Welcome home." We used to live in a large, beautiful two-story house. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/1/2014 19:13 - United States - Lexington

Today, I found out that someone had peed into the bottle of Febreze that we keep in the dorm bathroom. I found this out when I sprayed it onto my coat to get rid of a weird smell. FML

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By JohnFarrell - 24/4/2009 17:20 - United States

Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/2/2013 02:47 - United States - New Haven

Today, the new manager at my workplace left early in a panic, exclaiming, "My grandma had an accident! I need to see if she's okay!" I was left in charge of the bar once again. This is the sixth time this week his grandma has had an "accident". FML

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By NYCguy - 20/1/2010 03:59 - United States

Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/9/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I realized my job is so boring that I spend most of my time trying to take a dump than actually working. FML

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By faaail - 24/3/2015 16:51 - Ireland - Cork

Today, while studying for a big test at the library, some idiots started playing hide-and-seek. After putting up with their snorting and giggling for nearly an hour, I finally lost my shit and told them to knock it off. I then got kicked out for causing a disturbance. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/4/2011 13:28 - United Kingdom

Today, a guy who annoys me walked over. To avoid speaking to him, I pretended to be on the phone and he walked away. A few moments later, my phone rang. I looked around to see if he'd seen me. He had. He was the one ringing me from down the hall. FML

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By luvlessbootycall - 24/7/2010 05:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of three months texted me saying he loves me. I excitedly started texting back, "I love you too." Before I even got done, he messaged again saying, "Can you send a pic of your tits to me now?" FML

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By Bjax - 11/10/2017 16:00

Shame on you!

Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/5/2009 06:26 - United States

Today, I lost track of time while rocking out, butt-naked, to Kelly Clarkson and Michelle Branch after taking a shower. Three of my metalhead friends had let themselves in my house and were on the lower level laughing their butts off at me for 30 minutes before telling me. I'm a 23 year old guy. FML

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By Isa - 15/5/2012 06:48 - United States

Today, my boss at my new job asked whether I was fitting in OK. The company is Swedish, so as a joke, I said that at home I now serve all my food as a smorgasbord, chew on fermented herring and Daim chocolate bars, and buy all my furniture at Ikea. She didn't see the funny side. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/11/2012 18:28 - Argentina - Villa Sarmiento

Today, I was giving my son a driving lesson. He blatantly ran a red light, so I told him to pull over to let me drive us home. As I walked over to the driver-side door, he instead locked me out and drove off by himself. FML

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By selfishsexysanta - 24/12/2012 18:06 - United States

Today, I gave my husband an early Christmas present: Santa-themed lingerie. He got angry and called me selfish, for "using" him as an excuse to get myself nice stuff. FML

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By twinArmageddon2 - 15/4/2014 06:04 - United States - El Cajon

Today, I told my dad I'm pregnant. His response? "It's only a phase, you'll get over it." FML

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By "burnuptowndow" - 30/9/2017 01:30

Today, we got a new boss. This would have been great if he knew how to do his job. I've spent the last week training a guy who hits on co-workers and gets paid twice as much as me. FML

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By hairless - 30/7/2010 06:45 - Australia

Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML

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By AnonymousCow - 20/9/2016 13:04 - Australia - Perth

Today, I told my daughter that she wasn't allowed to eat in her room, so she sat at the table and glared at me for 10 minutes while she ate. She's 15. FML

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By - 25/10/2015 03:39 - United States

Today, my cousin got hired after six days of job-hunting. I graduated from university six months ago and haven't even scored a single interview; he's a deadbeat junkie who just got out of prison after doing time for armed robbery. FML

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By frgn8r - 31/5/2010 11:59 - Australia

Today, my friends and I finished a 2 day, 40km bush walk. We parked a car at the finish of the track and drove another car to the start, so we could drive back and pick it up when we finished. At the end of the trek, I realised I had left the keys for the second car in the first car. FML

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By Heather - 12/11/2012 21:20 - United States - Bethesda

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

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By wat - 20/9/2013 05:52 - United States - Santa Ana

Today, I went to visit my overly-posh mother for the first time in many years. Upon arrival, she kicked me out because my outfit did not follow the same color-scheme as her decor. FML

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Top comments

By fmlreader1359 | 0

#622496 - Friday 16 October 2009 3:10

that's why I never let my family members touch my electronics

By lGreenspanl | 2

#622493 - Friday 16 October 2009 3:08

This is why i am always careful when i let other people use my electronics

COMMENTS

By rutzy342 | 0

#622482 - Friday 16 October 2009 2:57

Man that sucks.

Reply

Arcterion | 0

#622942 - Friday 16 October 2009 16:10

'Sucks' would be putting it very mildly.

Personally I would've murdered the bitch with my bare hands. Smash 'er skull in with the PC casing.

Reply

leiziueyes | 0

#622990 - Friday 16 October 2009 16:44

Not everything is lost... Get an app like EasyRecovery and you might get most of your lost data back.

Reply

iFail_at_life | 0

#623308 - Friday 16 October 2009 21:28

i dont know if anyone said this but try going back to yesterday's date on your computer.
it might work.

Reply

Remmy123 | 0

#623907 - Saturday 17 October 2009 4:56

Quick! Ctrl-Z ..................... lol. But no, seriously, everything dear to you is gone.

Reply

Thatguywhotrolls | 0

#800142 - Tuesday 26 January 2010 16:35

@53, your username is so right.

Reply

Dunebuggy569 | 5

#967688 - Thursday 25 March 2010 3:51

I would kill her!!

Reply

Sniper3000 | 0

#978580 - Monday 12 April 2010 5:44

sounds a lot like my parents(father especially).

Reply

brannyh | 0

#1286979 - Monday 23 August 2010 0:19

YDI for using windows

Reply

xAllygator | 1

#1386331 - Saturday 11 September 2010 7:01

Oh god, sounds like something my mom would do. My mom is such a noob when it comes to computers...

Reply

Val0r | 4

#4795441 - Friday 10 August 2012 3:03

the data is magnetically wiped. no app can get it back dude

By KINGMARIO_fml | 0

#622486 - Friday 16 October 2009 3:01

wow. that blows

By lGreenspanl | 2

#622493 - Friday 16 October 2009 3:08

This is why i am always careful when i let other people use my electronics

By fmlreader1359 | 0

#622496 - Friday 16 October 2009 3:10

that's why I never let my family members touch my electronics

Reply

MegamiKaosu | 28

#3208825 - Wednesday 31 August 2011 4:24

same here everything I have is locked

By Feverrotes | 15

#622504 - Friday 16 October 2009 3:20

Let's see if I can nail this. 5th

By Lkdude77 | 0

#622510 - Friday 16 October 2009 3:25

Lmfao at the guy above me and trust me never leave ur mom alone with ur computer.. Well unless u cleared ur history :D

By Zeus44456 | 0

#622512 - Friday 16 October 2009 3:26

Sucks when ur parents computer illerterate

Reply

flying_vegan | 0

#622881 - Friday 16 October 2009 15:00

Sucks when you are just plain "illerterate".
Learn English please.

Reply

redbeater | 5

#1320966 - Monday 30 August 2010 8:57

nice one 

By M13LO | 0

#622520 - Friday 16 October 2009 3:39

I'm sure a professional can get it back

Reply

myballs | 0

#622586 - Friday 16 October 2009 6:16

Yeah; it can be recovered. It's not like she ripped out the HDD and swiped the discs with a neodymium magnet.

By CrunkCupcake97 | 2

#622528 - Friday 16 October 2009 3:52

blue screen of death o.O

Reply

toink | 0

#622589 - Friday 16 October 2009 6:22

OP left his computer with the Windows installation inside, his mother booted from the disk and followed the installation procedure, formating the HD.

Reply

blankaex | 0

#1735834 - Monday 22 November 2010 16:17

Windows installation has cool music. You can find the mp3 of it easily.

1. Open Run (Start, Run or Windows Key + R)
2. Type in "oobe" (without the quotes) and hit enter
3. Go in the images folder
4. Look for the file there (can't remember the name)

By kaelendra | 0

#622533 - Friday 16 October 2009 4:00

and that's why sharing a comp with someone not as knowledgeable on them is a baaaaad idea.