Today, I learned to never blast classic rock with your convertible's top down while passing an SUV full of gangbanger wanna-bes. That is, of course, unless you want your immaculate, newly detailed leather seats to be decorated with pretty brown and white milkshake stains. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on her radio while in traffic next to me. She decided that her chocolate milkshake would make a good addition to my brand new seat covers. FML
Today, I gave my new boss a ride, since his car died. I probably should have checked the music before I started the car; I'm not sure hearing "Grandpa pissed his pants again…" as the opener to a song made a good impression on him. FML
Today, I was stoked to show my new car to my friends that I pulled into the parking lot a bit too fast, attempting to look cool. I accidentally hit the curb and ended up scratching the entire front bumper on a trash can that I didn't see. Now I have a busted up bumper, and my friends will probably never let me forget it. FML
Today, I purchased a new car. On the drive home, gusts of wind blew up debris and pebbles and caused little chips in the paint and small chips on the windshield. FML
Today, I was in my car and stopped at a red light. A homeless woman then started to throw rocks at my car for no apparent reason. I drive a convertible. FML
Today, I got caught singing '80s hair metal love ballads to myself in the car by the object of my affection. FML
Today, I learned that if you're going to light a bottle rocket and throw it out the window of a car, you should roll the window down before you light the bottle rocket. FML
Today, while I was reluctantly driving to work on a Sunday, some guy in a shiny Audi threw a plastic root beer bottle full of urine at my old Toyota. He didn’t even bother to put on the cap on, like a gentleman would. FML
Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML
Today, I was hanging in the street with the boys, listening to some jams on my car's new speaker system. Some asshole from the apartments above me threw a bag of trash at my car. Direct hit. FML
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Top comments
Aelaena 6
Wow assholes. I hate people like that, I hope you got a license yet that probably wouldn't do much.
zmiddz 0
Gangbangers drink milkshakes?
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Comments (243)
monkey9224 0
the lesson is never blast country rock unless your in Tennessee but that really does suck
delfino1604 24
the fml says classic rock.. not country.
Virtuoso 0
I'm assuming 'gangbangers' means something else in america...
fyourlife88 0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Yes.
atomick 0
If other people wanted to listen to the same shitty music you are, they'd be sitting in your car.
guinness_fml 0
#21, it said "classic," not "country." Huge difference there. Maybe in the future don't blast your music so loud as to be obnoxious, but I still definitely hope you got their license plate number down. Make them pay for it
freddofrog 0
# 22 - Haha I had the same thought! = I'm hoping it does or else this FML is way more awkward than most people imagined xD
poobear 0
you deserve it for blasting your music
redSquirrel 0
Oh, I would have been enraged!
extremekiwi 0
Hey now, brown cow. Let's not get too carried away. We might hurt someones feelings.
xerao 0
All of you saying YDI, come on. Yes, someone blasting their music can be unintentionally a tad obnoxious, but damaging their car because of it? Let's talk punishment fitting the crime here.
ohdamn_fml 2
#2: Why should you have to deal with consequences for blasting music...?
Swan_fml 0
You shouldn't be blasting anything. But I understand why you would. Cool car - nice music - you were feeling good and someone brought you down. I hate gang banger wannabes! I hate gang bangers! Luckily it is leather and easy to clean. Cloth seats wouldn't have ever gotten all clean.