Today, I laughed at my grandma's chihuahua poodle mix, as it barked at me entering the house. "What are you going to do, nibble me to death?" is apparently enough to make it jump and bite me. I needed five stitches. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I reached down to pet an elderly man's dog. It jumped up and utterly mauled my face, drawing blood. As I gasped in shock and pain, the man said, "Careful, he likes to scratch." FML
Today, my girlfriend's sister tried to pull the dog jaw prank on me, accidentally biting my finger in the process. Now she's mad at me because her tooth got chipped when I pulled my hand back, completely disregarding the fact that my finger needed stitches from her bite. FML
Today, I went to visit my grandpa. He has an easily excited dog, who barreled into my freshly broken knee. I felt my knee move out of place again. The dog chipped a tooth. We went to the vet first. FML
Today, my mom's super spoiled small demon dog attacked my 3 year-old daughter, mauling her leg. Out of instinct, I kicked it away, causing it to fly across the room yelping. I picked up my daughter and took her straight to the hospital, where she got stitches. Later that night, I was greeted with a vet bill. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML
Today, my grandma's chihuahua was run over while I was taking her for a walk. She later whispered to me, "It should have been you." FML
Today, my dog started barking very aggressively. Thinking she'd started another gruesome fight with my older dog, I jumped up from the couch, spilling my coffee all over my laptop and dress, and knocked over a vase my grandmother gave me. She was barking at her own shadow. FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, I dog-sat for my neighbors' pitbull. Weighing in at 100 pounds with a nasty bite, this dog is no lap dog, but I treated it as one - not knowing how deadly this dog could be - beckoning it towards me with my hand. I now have 6 stitches in my hand and arm, and the neighbors didn't pay me. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
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Top comments
xnikkilynn 11
Urgh, those things are the spawn of Satan.
Mirakledba 10
Not your fault... Kinda ironic though. FYL
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Comments (75)
Gabilliam 19
Yappy little froo-froo dogs ugh
katejanek 16
never trust those dogs
BadApple88 29
Small teeth can cause damage too
Razi_tail 25
That's exactly what I was thinking 13. I clicked YDI for under estimating that dog, OP.
mkymouse90 17
There no such thing as a dog that doesn't bite..
RayneSmytson 24
Bs. All dogs have the CAPACITY to bite, but not all do. Any dog with a reasonable level of socialisation and training and appropriate leadership will not have a reason to bite.
aecribb 14
What if the dog has no teeth? Would it still qualify as biting if you were getting "gummed"?
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Umm #15 that's absolutely not true...
ChunkMissing 10
Sounds like karma at work. Sorry about the stitches OP. Dogs can be vile sometimes.
Hiktmae 20
More like irony, not karma.
keiNan_fml 35
you shouldn't underestimate the dogs man
Katthebamf 29
I guess today has been 'ruff' FYL op!
lifesentence 11
I bet you will not laugh next time
heyithinkyourhot 12
Ouch
jeragonm 15
Reason number 15,476 that chihuahuas are demon dogs