Today, I invited an acquaintance over for tea. When he came in, I told him to make himself at home. He took it literally and now half of my pantry is messed up, my boyfriend's chocolate supply is gone, and I'm pretty sure our couch is broken. Thanks. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML
Today, I have a massive headache, thanks to my asshat of a roommate, who decided to balance our tea kettle on the top of the kitchen door. When I stumbled into the kitchen, half-awake, it came smashing down onto my head. FML
Today, I invited a guy I've been crushing on for ages to my house, and I really wanted to make a good impression. We were sitting in the living room having drinks when my cat came in, dragging a pair of my dirty underwear and dropped them right in front of us. FML
Today, I hosted an open house. I forgot about it and arrived as they were leaving. There were dirty dishes and laundry everywhere, and my dildo was on my dresser. FML
Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
Today, I was greeting some guests when I fell into the tray of tea and biscuits in front of them, with two cups of tea directly drenching my hair. They didn't laugh, they didn't chuckle, but my sister was laughing too hard and too much. I now smell like tea. FML
Today, I walked into what I thought was my friend's apartment, dropped my backpack on the couch, and started complaining about work. A complete stranger then walked out of the kitchen holding a sandwich, saw me, then yelled "HELP!" I apologized, grabbed my bag, and somehow took his TV remote with me. FML
Today, after a grueling business trip, my husband and I came home to all our furniture broken, every window smashed, all the floors scratched and carpets ripped, all our electronics stolen, and all our food and booze gone. What happened? Our son held a party and invited literally everyone he could from campus. FML
Today, I invited a friend over for dinner and spent hours preparing a fancy meal. When I opened the door, he walked in with his new girlfriend, his mom, his sister, and his dog. I barely had enough food for one, let alone five. I ended up serving my fancy meal on paper plates. FML
Today, my boyfriend invited me over for dinner for the first time. The place was full of his ex's stuff, books on the shelves, makeup in the bathroom, clothes in the closet and even shoes on the floor. Not to mention creepy plush toys staring at me. She left him 8 years ago. FML
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Top comments
Redoxx_fml 22
Is he Zoidberg?
nickob96 25
Well then...that escalated quickly
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Comments (83)
vvrobinson 4
Your boyfriend has a chocolate supply? I see who's the bitch in the relationship lmao
SS 31
Anyone else find it a bit weird that OP (a female) invited another man who she doesn't know that well over for tea / dinner, while she has a boyfriend? Unless he was there too.
Schizomaniac 24
No, because some of us happen to be adults.
SPN_lover666 27
OP is a big girl, she doesn't need her boyfriends approval to have a guy over
hiheyitschloe 13
0 to 100 real quick
fhlakd 25
Your boyfriend's chocolate supply.... right.
sarcasmine 19
I wanna know what their house is like then
Witchylady 18
Never say that. You don't know what their version of "make yourself at home " means. Next time offer refreshments but never the freedom to do as one pleases.
MooseKnuckle503 11
By Tea, do you mean ****? I'd be pissed being the "boyfriend", come home to find all my chocolates have been stolen by my non-existent girls random dude "acquaintance" that broke my couch!
leogachi 15
@59 Why would you immediately jump to the worst possible conclusion?
Jethco 15
I bet you'll think twice before saying that to a guest again though.
Treaton 5
is that what the kids call it now....come in for tea? and how the f*ck did you let him do all that stuff? Where were you?
The_Skittish_One 27
I...would really like to know what happened to the couch XD