Today, I invited an acquaintance over for tea. When he came in, I told him to make himself at home. He took it literally and now half of my pantry is messed up, my boyfriend's chocolate supply is gone, and I'm pretty sure our couch is broken. Thanks. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML
Today, I have a massive headache, thanks to my asshat of a roommate, who decided to balance our tea kettle on the top of the kitchen door. When I stumbled into the kitchen, half-awake, it came smashing down onto my head. FML
Today, I invited a guy I've been crushing on for ages to my house, and I really wanted to make a good impression. We were sitting in the living room having drinks when my cat came in, dragging a pair of my dirty underwear and dropped them right in front of us. FML
Today, I hosted an open house. I forgot about it and arrived as they were leaving. There were dirty dishes and laundry everywhere, and my dildo was on my dresser. FML
Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
Today, I was greeting some guests when I fell into the tray of tea and biscuits in front of them, with two cups of tea directly drenching my hair. They didn't laugh, they didn't chuckle, but my sister was laughing too hard and too much. I now smell like tea. FML
Today, I walked into what I thought was my friend's apartment, dropped my backpack on the couch, and started complaining about work. A complete stranger then walked out of the kitchen holding a sandwich, saw me, then yelled "HELP!" I apologized, grabbed my bag, and somehow took his TV remote with me. FML
Today, after a grueling business trip, my husband and I came home to all our furniture broken, every window smashed, all the floors scratched and carpets ripped, all our electronics stolen, and all our food and booze gone. What happened? Our son held a party and invited literally everyone he could from campus. FML
Today, I invited a friend over for dinner and spent hours preparing a fancy meal. When I opened the door, he walked in with his new girlfriend, his mom, his sister, and his dog. I barely had enough food for one, let alone five. I ended up serving my fancy meal on paper plates. FML
Today, my boyfriend invited me over for dinner for the first time. The place was full of his ex's stuff, books on the shelves, makeup in the bathroom, clothes in the closet and even shoes on the floor. Not to mention creepy plush toys staring at me. She left him 8 years ago. FML
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Top comments
Redoxx_fml 22
Is he Zoidberg?
nickob96 25
Well then...that escalated quickly
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Comments (83)
worldclassrager 41
Next time I think the phrase, "Come on in sit down (or any other phrase like this) and relax tea will be ready shortly." Would be better...
chosha_fml 27
Next time?
rshweky 17
Chocolate...CHOCOLATE
chosha_fml 27
So because you told him to make himself at home you were suddenly incapable of telling him when he was being an ass? YDI
TallMist 32
How do you know the OP didn't yell? For all we know, that guy managed to do all of that to the OP's house while she was out of the room. Or maybe she WAS in the room and he just ignored OP's yelling.
chosha_fml 27
She was presumably making tea, which would normally be in the same room as the pantry.
TallMist 32
And the OP would have a couch there instead of the living room... Why?
SaniK 17
Why are you inviting a guy alone to home when your boyfriend not at home?
doemetoch 28
...are you from the 19th century?
TonierShadow 19
Why do you speak without the use of grammar.
SPN_lover666 27
Maybe OP's boyfriend knew he was coming over. Even if he didn't, OP can invite whoever she wants to for tea.
SaniK 17
Woah guys relax, I was just making sure she was being safe about it
MooseKnuckle503 11
Why so many dislikes? Honestly, an acquaintance! Not a friend.
Silk_Routes 14
how come he crossed the tea limits! broken couch is too much..what the hell that f*tard did there?
dolphinlvr7 24
Well I wouldn't want to see his house
guther_unicorn 15
Did you left him alone the entire time he was there?
ohkitty 21
everyone knows that you don't take the expression 'make yourself at home' seriously!
homtravel 10
Afternoon delight?
townailz 16
Your boyfriends going to be pissed