Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML
Today, I went to a party with 5 of my friends. Within five minutes, they'd all paired up and gone. Then it was just me, drinking my pain away. FML
Today, after two months of being teased by my friends for getting wasted and passing out from only one shot, I learned that I wasn't actually too weak to handle the alcohol. My "friends" had secretly laced my drink with sleeping pills. They're now teasing me for believing them. FML
Today, my friends and I had our Christmas party. I ended up being the only one sober, and had to drive each and every person home. There were 15 of us. FML
Today, I decided to be the sober housemate for the first time in a while. I drove my drunk friends to the bar and back, even buying them pizza before they passed out in the living room. I got repaid by catching my wasted housemate in my room, peeing all over my floor, bed, and nightstand. FML
Today, it was my friend's 18th birthday. She had invited us out drinking. I've never had alcohol before and was very excited. I got a call explaining that she had invited one too many and asked me not to come. People bragging on Facebook about what a great time they were having didn't help either. FML
Today, I got drunk until morning at a college friend's apartment with bunch of strangers. Some officials came in due to the noise and I tried to scare them away by pretending to sing a latin song of worship I made up, thinking they'd respect the gathering if it was a religious one. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I found out that my "friends" only invite me to their parties when they need a designated driver. Apparently I'm "not fun" because I don't drink, which "ruins the party". FML
Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DrSo 15
1. You had a non-alcoholic house party in Germany. 2. You fell for your own set up. How do you NOT deserve it?!
lakerfan8224 17
The mind is a powerful thing.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (128)
bosox29 14
I'm going out on a limb here and I'm going to say that maybe, just maybe OP didn't want the other two geniuses to feel bad...or maybe OP is just an idiot.
Llama_Face89 34
Well non-alcoholic beer does have a very small percentage of alcohol in it.... Perhaps you're just the worlds lightest lightweight...
iamthunder 4
You are a German and willingly held a party with non alcoholic beer, you sir should have been born a jew!
Mailman2121 15
You are one special kind of super-idiot
yoyoyowhatup 11
Ja, scheisse kann man sagen...
SaintJimmyxx 8
what?
djinnyf 12
Maybe someone tricked your trick?!
jdas 6
You basically just contradicted yourself..
chromegirl666 7
I smell a Darwin Award in your future. Please do the world a favor and refrain from breeding.
SleeplessBeauty 12
You must have very low alcohol tolerance... And very weak willpower...