This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

No bacon? What's wrong with him

Disown him! Who doesn't like BACON?


No bacon? What's wrong with him

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

You obviously have something wrong with you and should see a medical professional immediately

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

well, 15, that is just because you are wrong, and like 36 said, you should seem medical attention right away. either that or you are secretly a robot sent to spy on us.

What else did he want?...

YDI for not forcing the bacon down his throat until he learns to like it

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

117- Actually, I bought some bacon that was on sale at the market a few months ago, and it was far too salty for me to even eat! Imagine my sorrow to waste not just any food, but bacon! Now I could understand why the cost was slashed to steep. But I went back to the bacon I normally get, and it tasted just fine. So, there is some difference between brands, it seems.

Hello # 15 welcome to the internet!!!! Jennifer Lawrence is our queen, Chuck Norris is our protector, and bacon is the food of the gods. Insult any one of them and you will receive our wrath!

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

No one jokes about bacon

I have a name for people who don't like bacon... Cylons.

Expel those who don't like bacon. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

The only Bacon you should be allowed to insult is Kevin Bacon. Seriously, tell him to eat his greens and his bacon or no desert. Bacon flavored ice cream, while you sit back with your bacon vodka.

Bacon is love, Bacon is life

I'm not a bacon person. It's not the saltiness, or anything like that, I just think it tastes pretty disgusting.

Green eggs and ham!!!

Disown him! Who doesn't like BACON?

Yeah, what the hell? He deserves punishment!!!

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

I don't like bacon, but that means more bacon for everyone who does :)

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

maybe he likes.... Turkey Bacon *shudders*

Seems that anyone that goes against the masses automatically gets thumbed down but whatever. Thumb away. Why do so many people want to dictate what another person should or shouldn't like? Bacon is mostly fat. If you like a mouthful of greasy fat-- more power to you. I always prefer eating leaner meats and if I were to eat bacon, I always pull the meat off the fat which leaves next to nothing left. It's just not appealing to me. Free feel to enjoy my portion.

we LOVE mouthfuls of greasy fat

Bacon does not.. even.. wait for it... TASTE THAT GOOD! Seriously, I don't get why you people like bacon so much. And I have good taste in food, anyone who thinks otherwise is wrong.

Clearly you don't have good taste in food if you don't like bacon.

I sure don't. I hate pork to be honest. I think it smells really nasty.

mannatee- really? that just came out of your mouth? please go find a hole to die in

@105 I wish I could thumb you down twice, once for insulting bacon and again for imitating Barney Stenson to do it. Read up on your Bro Code man.

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

I make bacon myself. There is nothing depressing about it... except waiting for it to cure so you can smoke it then cook and eat it.

Depends on the company you buy your bacon from actually.

I'm probably going to get down voted on saying this, but I'll say it any way. Why does it matter how our food is treated? Does a lion ask the gazelle if its neck is getting eaten humanely? As long as it's a healthy pig I don't care how it lives. I'm just saying...

Mostly because we have feelings about how things are treated and animals don't. But I see what you're saying.

@80 personally I eat mean, and I have no problem with killing animals for food. The difference is a lion hunts for it's prey, kills and eats it. The lion does not keep its prey in tiny cages *insert other animal cruelty instances here*. I buy all my meat from local farmers who I know treat the animals well before the slaughter house. To me it really does matter. When I see an animal I don't just see a steak, I see a living being that deserves decency. That being said I do eat meat, I just make sure everything is done as humanly as possible.

Because we as people have the power to control how we treat our animals. The lion doesn't make the animal slowly suffer for days on end-- in order to make it taste better by caging it up to keep it tender and feed it drugs and antibiotics just so it wouldn't die in those conditions. If you knew how veal (and other animals) were kept for its meat and don't think it's cruel??? than I'd say you're jaded or care more about your fatten belly.

#130 Predators like lions may not make their preys suffer (mostly because they don't hunt, they send lioness to do it) but there are some big assholes out there. Lions sometimes eat their own cubs. People like #80 agree only with the part of killing and eating. They don't agree with the entire lifestyle of a lion itself. They are just looking for an excuse to their consumption. Will you have multiple women, fuck them whenever you want, send them to get food and then eat your own babies? I think not, and if you do you should see a therapist.

144, 80 was comparing the way people kill animals vs lions (could have been any other predator to make that exact same point). I was just pointing out our differences with that wild animal. Do you need me to point out more differences with your crazy analogy about what we were talking about? Feel free to PM me so you look less foolish on here.

I agree that animals shouldn't be treated as such however, it will never end and I find it more of an insult to let the food go to waste and have the animal die for nothing rather than to at least enjoy it and have the food serve a purpose.

#158 I know dude. Don't you get my point? let me put it simple. 80 said "If a lion (predator) doesn't care I shouldn't care either". If you agree so much with the predator lifestyle why don't you live like them? see? You can't say that because is a totally different thing. Eat meat? great I don't care but you should say "I, myself, me. I don't care about animals suffering" period. And for you I was just pointing out that there are big assholes in the animal kingdom, nothing more.

why is 49 getting downvoted?

Great points all around guys, except for Edumcg, you're creepy. The only thing I know about lions is that they tackle gazelles. Keep your rape fantasies to yourself. Anyways, I don't really eat meat, I'm a pescatarien mostly, with the exception of eating the occasional chicken. But, on point, I don't approve of modified meat. But if raising them in nicer confines is better for the animal and makes better meat then I see your points. My main opinion though on the whole thing is that people shouldn't rag on what people do or don't like to eat. Pigs, unfortunately, will get slaughtered in an endless cycle to appease the masses that eat them. This is true, but if raising them in nice confines makes them better meals then I see why I am wrong in my previous post. What I'm trying to say is that people shouldn't be preachy about how animals get killed left and right. If that makes sense. End rant ;).

#208 If pointing out my opinion makes me creepy then so be it. One person got it and that's enough for me :)

You do know lions don't eat their own cubs right?

And also, lions usually only have one mate. (Not always of course) and the lionesses hunting is because they are faster runners and more lean and agile. But yeah, lions don't eat their own cubs. I thought I should point that out before all of FML starts to believes that false fact.

so I need to point out that plants are not treated good either. They are also place unset extreme conditions including the organic ones. The major proof is the food borne diseases (not saying this does not happen to meat), but people need to realize it happens to plants too. (/sigh start the down voting)

247 - Plants also don't have a heart and cannot pump fluids through them selves.. wait they can.

I don't like bacon and my wife doesn't like coffee.

You sir have no place in the world

Now I know what bacon lovers must feel like. Your wife is a lie.

Bacon is edible sex. So basically you're saying you don't like sex.

You and your wife deserve each other #4. The only positive I can say about you is thanks for your effort to keep prices on coffee and bacon lower for us normal people

And I don't like your comment

welcome to the internet, where having outlying opinions (food preferences, even!) is taboo.

sounds like a you problem not a we problem

If that is your greatest downfall in life, consider yourself lucky.

I actually heard that bacon lowers sperm count, so his son might just be protecting the family jewels.

#88, I also heard that the internet started WW1.

And that World War V was actually started by Eskimos

Crazy person, the internet was invented by Al Gore, who wasn't even born until 1948. Silly, silly.

The joke went right over 126's head. Silly silly...

he's broken, too bad there's no return policy... at least fry the eggs in bacon grease

Not a fan of bacon, but love eggs fried in the pan after bacon!

You have no place in this world

"Bacon is good for me!" -King Curtis

"et tu Bruti, but please give me some bacon" - Julius Cesar. True story

qdawg06 23

It might be too salty for him. Try turkey bacon or chicken bacon and wean him into the good old regular, delicious bacon!


That's the first comment I've ever seen that warrants caps

#10, there's such a thing as chicken bacon? This is news to me.

qdawg06 23

Yah they do! Not a fan of it myself but it's there!

Turkey Bacon is awesome!!!

Naw I think HE'S just salty... Ok I'll go away now. *eats bacon alone.

Walk away and never turn back. Change your name. Get a new life. It's the only way out of this embarrassment.

I wish my daughter didn't like bacon. It's expensive.