Today, I had to use the restroom while at work. I had the choice of the stall with a broken lock, or the stall with a huge crack in the partition wall. Not two minutes after I sat down, I noticed someone peeking in. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a rush and didn't notice that the bathroom stall I chose at work had a broken lock. Halfway through my business, a coworker barged in. We locked eyes for an awkward eternity. FML
Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML
Today, I had to use the bathroom really badly in a drug store. After I did a #2, just as I realized the handle on the toilet was broken, a knock came at the door. I tried fixing it for ten minutes, before slipping out the door, to come face to face with two employees coming to fix the toilet. FML
Today, I had no choice but to use a porta potty. I was happy to get a clean one. I wasn't happy when a young child tried opening the door and used enough force to break the lock, showing me sitting on the toilet to the world. FML
Today, I was hiding in the toilets at work, catching a quick pee/phone/vape break between patients. Pants down, scrolling my phone, puffing away. Suddenly the stall door opens and my manager is standing in front of me, staring. The stall door latch hadn’t closed properly. Now I can’t look her in the eye. FML
Today, I decided to use the disabled toilet in work to get a little extra privacy while I did my business. The cleaners who unlocked the door from the outside and barged in on me were nice and waited until I finished to apologize and explain there were complaints the door had been locked for days. FML
Today, as I was using the public restroom in the mall, someone decided to slam the stall door next to mine. This resulted in my stall door opening while I was still on the toilet. The door was too far for me to reach. FML
Today, I went in the one-person bathroom at work to pee. Next thing I know, a woman forced the locked door open and walked in on me, because she didn't believe another person who said, "I think someone is in there." I'm reluctant to use that bathroom in the future. FML
Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom. I was on the toilet taking a dump when the door latch loosened and the door swung open. The little girl standing there took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML
Today, while at work, I went to unlock the washroom for a customer. Normally we don't allow customers to use the staff washrooms, so I was as surprised as the guy I found sitting on the toilet when I opened the door. FML
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Top comments
alyspar2 5
Creeper status.
SkoomaKi 28
It was 50/50. Next time bring pepper spray.
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Comments (136)
fsamslife92 8
Actually, OP said NOT two minutes. That could mean anything from a split second to eternity (excluding exactly two minutes of course).
monsterrzwithin 0
Why not use the broken lock door and use your foot to pull the door closed and keep it there while you pee
Mandybruin 15
So you have to be a contortionist then? What if you're a squatter, not a sitter?
periwinkle95 10
Actually, Docbastard, I believe it is 17.
carrythebanner 3
Kick them in the face next time
waitwhatsgoingon 18
Yeah, cuz when your taking a piss you really have time to kick people.
LoganKlier 0
pick the one without the laugh and give them a warning cough
bubo_fml 11
No security? No problem! Just shit in the waste bin...
MargieDrury 1
I would have knock the teeth out.
MargieDrury 1
46-not meaning to start anything but you like to start stuff. And it's gay and annoying
Akharr01 5
So you chose the One with the crack?
TexasJosh 0
Should have smiled and started a conversation with them, maybe shown them a chicken dance... If your a guy that is. Embarrass them haha.