Miscellaneous: Today, I had to pee really bad so I tried to unlock my door as...

By Anonymous - 01/05/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, I had to pee really bad so I tried to unlock my door as fast as I could. I put my key in and turned it too hard, the key snapped inside. I ended up peeing on myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 887

You deserved it 13 662

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By Anonymous - 23/10/2022 22:00 - Australia

Today, I got the strong urge to pee right as I got home from work. In my hurry to get inside, I grabbed my keys out of my pocket. They flew out of my hand, into the bushes. I couldn't find them in time and ended up wetting myself in my driveway, three minutes before I had to pick my daughter up from school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 172

By Cuzles - 23/03/2011 16:11 - United States

Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 586

You deserved it 36 208

By Pisspants - 17/09/2016 04:39 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was at work and I needed to pee. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. A coworker walked in on me and I bolted up mid-stream to slam the door back shut. I had pee down my leg and pee squishing in my shoes for the rest of the day. I can still remember his tone of voice, yelling, "Sorry"! FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 139

You deserved it 2 830

Oh, hello there, don't mind me

By downinthedumps - 13/01/2015 02:47 - United States - Detroit

Today, I went to take a piss in a public bathroom. Somehow, I managed to completely jam the lock. After minutes of trying to get myself out, I gave up and crawled under the stall, at which point someone walked in and was very surprised to see me on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 989

You deserved it 3 337

Sprinkler

By shelly - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 679

You deserved it 7 465

By Ouch - 22/05/2009 15:16 - United States

Today, as I was closing my car door, I realized I had left the keys in the ignition. Not wanting to lock myself out, I reached to stop the door from closing. Not only did I scream when the door slammed on my hand, but in my furious pain, I leaned on the door, locking my keys inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 432

You deserved it 13 249

By anonymous - 17/01/2017 20:00

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and had to go to the bathroom in my dorm. After coming out of the bathroom, I realized I'd let my auto-locking door close behind me. I had to go through the whole dorm, sprint across campus in my bra and underwear, and ask someone for my spare key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 402

You deserved it 1 869

By pissingcontest - 30/05/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 644

You deserved it 46 015

Break in

By GodDaughter - 20/09/2009 00:08 - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 671

You deserved it 9 988

Locked and loaded

By Anonymous - 30/12/2011 03:07 - China

Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 193

You deserved it 43 434

papertigers_fml 0

Friday 1 May 2009 15:20

hot.

mel92_fml 0

Friday 1 May 2009 16:04

why didn't you just pee in a bush or something?

Comments

hopiee 0

Friday 1 May 2009 15:54

...buy yourself some Depends :'O

mel92_fml 0

Friday 1 May 2009 16:04

why didn't you just pee in a bush or something?

vatermelonpower 0

Saturday 11 September 2010 18:09

I HATE taco

jimmyb00o5 0

Friday 1 May 2009 16:05

So did your parents rub your nose in it?

thx1138_fml 0

Friday 1 May 2009 17:01

YDI get a better quality key...

thankscupcake 0

Friday 1 May 2009 17:16

I'm guessing you have an apartment or a house or condo where the garage isn't attached. I'm telling you the garage door opener is where it's at in these situations.

Tehalon 0

Friday 1 May 2009 17:30

Just pee in the garden, doesnt matter if you're male or female. YDI!

nysouby 6

Friday 1 May 2009 17:52

next time.. try ringing neighbor's bell first.. lol

ohhboyy 0

Friday 1 May 2009 18:41

pampers lol

Timismaster 0

Friday 1 May 2009 18:56

#13 hes not a dog xD

Dogmaw 0

Friday 1 May 2009 19:15

You peed on yourself rather than go in a bush? Or just pee on the wheel? I maybe MAYBE understand this if you are a woman and don't want to squat by your car, but even then, being seen squatting by 2 minutes worth of passersby is better than spending a couple of hours stewing in your own urine.

azhein 0

Sunday 28 March 2010 5:26

why would she spend a couple hours in it. normally when a key breaks in a lock all you have to do is stick the rest in and turn or stick the tip of another key in and turn an it should open