Today, I had to meet with my landlord to organise when he was coming to look at my flat and decide whether I get my deposit back. In the time it took to see him, my friend drank a bottle of vodka and vomited all over my room and knocked the window through. My landlord is coming in the morning. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, while celebrating at my friend's birthday party, I fell down a flight of stairs, got into a fight with my flatmate, and ruined my friend's outfit after drinking too much. I'm expecting I'll need to find a new place to live tomorrow. FML
Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
Today, I have been vomiting for 4 days. Tomorrow, my landlord is insisting on inspecting my flat. I now either have to clean my house whilst trying not to throw up all around it, or fail my inspection. FML
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, my friend found out his girlfriend was cheating on him. He came to talk to me, and I was happy to help him through this tough time… until he drank a bottle of whiskey by himself. He flew into a drunken rage and started punching holes in the wall and throwing furniture. Now my house is wrecked. FML
Today, I found out that one of my university flatmates arrived early for Freshers Week, and had a party which involved the place being trashed. I'm going to lose some of my deposit for damage caused before I even arrived. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment after moving most of my stuff out. Upon returning, I learned that my now ex-roommate drank all of my alcohol and threw away my things, thinking that I had forgotten them. FML
Today, my roommate made out with this guy I kind of had a thing for. It wasn't a big deal to sober me, but drunk me wasn't having it. I drank half a bottle of vodka, punched a hole in a wall, and cried while laying on the floor. FML
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Top comments
reklamfox 0
Why are you friends with someone so horrible? Anyone who would do something so selfish and stupid is not a friend, they are just a jerk. It sucks that is happened to you, but maybe you should get different friends.
sublime93 0
I'm sorry fender, but you're 'stories' are not funny nor creative.
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Comments (65)
shootingstar8D 0
Sorry but I dnt get a thing. And it's boring. Next!
laprincessa 0
LOL that sucks.. but WTF!? uhhm who the hell thinks u spell organise with a z? lmfao ♥
Cazly_420 0
Guess who pays for the window and the carpet cleaner...
GleeIsTransient 0
laprincessa, we Americans spell the word "organise" wih a z, meaning "organize." It's an American spelling, which is perfectly acceptable here. We also spell words like "colour" and "honours" without the "u" too. It really surprises me how people can't recognize alternate spellings of words, or at least be able to look it up on the internet which many people here can apparantly use if they can get on the FML website. Although there might be an FML App that I don't know about, since I don't own an iPhone or an iPod Touch.
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
Amazing how many people don't realize that the world and the English language don't revolve solely around America. Seriously. And with every FML that uses an alternate form of spelling, there's always someone explaining the different spellings. How long will it take for people to learn? :x
tblack147 0
Susanasaysrawrxd i really don't think you should give any kind of insight about the English language because you just said "English language don't revolve solely around America" quite frankly that use of don't DOESN'T (not don't) make a bit of sense
AddyMilla 0
lol maybe im stupid but i believe she was correct
winter13 0
which I sadder your life or spelling? hmm
bluekiwi_fml 0
I wouldn't like ur... "friend"
famesetmatch1234 0
you spelt organize wrong
frickme444 5
OrganiZe